It’s Tuesday.

This means it’s time to read the Alumni Rundown. You may be treated like royalty when you come back to campus, but it doesn’t mean you won’t get solitary confinement in Dennison from me.

We’ve come upon slim pickings here. The baseball season’s now done with, the NBA hasn’t yet started and the NHL is off in Never Never Land. Or wherever it is Gary Bettman stores his carcasses. That means it’s all NFL and European hoops today.

European hoops? Yes! Remember that Zack Novak and Stu Douglass are playing in Holland and Spain, respectively. And if you can believe it, Novak poured in 32 points in Zwolle’s 92-69 recent win over Leeuwarden. That box score is eye-popping. Who’d have thunk that the scrappy and fearless — but offensively limited — three-time captain would be hoisting 18 shots and carrying the scoring burden. There’s something strange going on with those Dutch rims. For this Zack, you get to be chairman emeritus of the Dutch department

If the European thing didn’t bring in enough metrosexual flavor in and of itself, throw in Tom Brady going to London. The former Michigan quarterback lit up the Rams as the Patriots pummeled their not-so-well acclimated opponents from St. Louis, 45-7. No one in the AFC East looks like they’ll give the Patriots much trouble this season, so Brady is in line to get another shot to catch Joe Montana with four Super Bowl victories. For this Tom, you get to study abroad with me in the Motherland.

I’ve heard from multiple sources that U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps was in Ann Arbor this weekend and made an appearance at the Maize and Blue Deli. There’s been some debate whether Phelps should be in the same company as other Michigan alumni, but in this space, we decided you probably did your time in Dennison when you took classes here and are eligible to appear in the Rundown. I’m not sure of Phelps’s business here, but I’ll take it in good faith that he didn’t mistakenly think that this was State weekend. And he’s roughly five months early if he came here for other purposes. For this, Michael, you get a deli sandwich in your name.

In this space last week, a former Wolverine found significant playing time because of a starter’s injury. That was Chad Henne when Jacksonville Jaguars starting quarterback Blaine Gabbert fell to injury. But Henne didn’t do so hot, ceding the game to the Raiders one incompletion at a time and eventually finding himself relegated to Dennison. But this time around, injury replacement was good to the Wolverines. Former Michigan cornerback Stevie Brown has filled in for injured New York Giant safety Kenny Phillips the last four games. None of those other games compared to his performance Sunday against the Dallas Cowboys. Brown picked off Tony Romo twice and recovered a fumble as the Giants staved off a Cowboy comeback to win, 29-24. For your ability to rise to the occassion, Stevie, you get an honorary degree in aerospace engineering.

From one “Stevie B.” to a less fortunate “Stevie B.” Former Michigan wide receiver Steve Breaston is having a rough 2012 amidst the Kansas City Chiefs’ disastrous season. The team is 1-6 and thanks to an awful quarterbacking tandem of Matt Cassel and Brady Quinn, Breaston is seeing fewer and fewer passes his way. In the last four seasons, Breaston hasn’t been below 700 receiving yards, but at nearly the halfway point this year, he’s on pace for a shade over eight catches for 88 yards and no touchdowns. Chiefs coach Romeo Crennel has labeled Breaston as a backup and he’s caught just two passes for 14 yards since week one. He hasn’t even been targeted in the last three contests. For your inability to hold down a starting wide receiver job in Kansas City, Steve, you get solitary confinement in Dennison.

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