1. The Blueprint, Jay-Z The trick to selling albums is to sell out, and Jigga did that long ago.
2. Songs in A Minor, Alicia Keys Why is God punishing us?
3. Silver Side Up, Nickelback Isn”t silver normally supposed to be pretty cool? I gave this girl I liked a silver crayon in third grade. She broke it, like my heart.
4. Strange Little Girls, Tori Amos There are a lot of strange little girls on this CD, but none of them stranger than Tori herself. She is one screwed up chick.
5. Greatest Hits, Martina McBride Martina McBride has a greatest hits? Geez, who”s next, Collective Soul? Wait a damn minute.
6. Gerald”s World, Gerald Levert WHO ARE YOU.
7. A Day Without Rain, Enya A day without rain is pretty sweet. Rain, like Enya, sucks ass.
8. Satellite, P.O.D I, I”ve never felt so alive. Damn whoever keeps playing this song in my house. Jesus doesn”t like the rapcore.
9. The Look of Love, Diana Krall Have you seen Diana Krall? She isn”t the girl you want giving you the look of love. You want her giving you, “the look.” The, “I want libidmous pleasure with no strings attached” look.
10. Hybrid Theory, Linkin Park For some reason or another these limp-a-likes just can”t stop selling records.