1. Feels Like Home, Norah Jones — Turns out tepid jazz is
the raging trend in adult contemporary these days. Really? Ravi
Shankar actually has talent. What happened?
2. In This Skin, Jessica Simpson — With nothing but a
T-shirt on … hell yeah.
3. Fallen, Evanescence — I guess I’d give up
religion for the chance to wear ugly dresses at the Grammys
too.
4. College Dropout, Kanye West — Stay in school kids.
Otherwise, you might actually make millions of dollars using your
talents.
5. When the Sun Goes Down, Kenny Chesney — Like where the
sun don’t shine, minus the softcore porn.
6. Speakerboxx/The Love Below, Outkast — ‘Dre and
Big Boi are hardly speaking these days. Sad really, ‘Dre
loves Burger King while Big Boi is a Mickey D’s fan.
7. Closer, Josh Groban — If he were a real closer,
he’d be a former BALCO client. He’s the Eric Gange of
crap music.
8. The Very Best of Sheryl Crow, Sheryl Crow — Ya’ll
know Lance Armstrong is tappin’ that. Holla at ya boy.
9. Kamikaze, Twista — Should’ve been on the
“Pearl Harbor” soundtrack.
10. I Don’t Want You Back Eamon — Oh baby, PLEASE
take me back. I swear it aint the bling.