1. Feels Like Home, Norah Jones — Who would’ve
thought that Ravi Shankar’s daughter could be so brutally
2. The College Dropout, Kanye West — Keeping the
Roc’s spot warm until Jay-Z gets back. Come back, Hov! Come
3. Fallen, Evanescence — If only they would evanesce from
this list. Zing!
4. Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, OutKast — Play “Hey
Ya!” again. We dare you.
5. When the Sun Goes Down, Kenny Chesney — Since when do
we let Republicans — let alone Southerners — on this
6. Closer, Josh Groban — We’re not done with Kenny
Chesney yet, so here’s another one: Just because you look
like Bruce Willis in a cowboy hat doesn’t mean your music is
7. I Don’t Want You Back, Eamon — We never wanted
you in the first place. I guess the feeling is mutual.
8. Kamikaze, Twista — See how his name ends with an a?
That means he’s from the street.
9. The Very Best of Sheryl Crow, Sheryl Crow — Why yes, it
is necessary to differentiate the very best from simply the
10. A Crow Left of the Murder…, Incubus — Never has an
album title better captured the spirit of the music. But seriously,
guys, fuck off.