1. Measure of a Man, Clay Aiken — Clay has to know how bad his record title sounds. It’s like one of the ’50s melodramas when you’re not allowed to talk about what things really mean..
2. As Time Goes By … Great American Songbook: Vol. II, Rod Stewart — Even writing the album’s complete name is too much press for “Rod the Bod.”
3. The Very Best of the Eagles, Eagles — So hell freezes over and then you release your “Best of.” That’s life in the fastlane.
4. Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, OutKast — Dre has a 6-year-old son named Seven. He’s so cool.
5. Chicken-N-Beer, Ludacris — Ludacris deserves an award for moving society past blind-eyed stereotypes.
6. Loon, Loon — Who the hell is Loon? Apparently everyone who knows the answer bought the CD.
7. Life for Rent, Dido — Cute, British and still has Eminem to thank for her being on the Billboard Top 10.
8. Hard, Jagged Edge — So what’s so Hard about it?
9. The Movie Album, Barbra Streisand — Hey, as long as she never makes another movie, she can sing about them all the time.
10. Everything to Everyone, Barenaked Ladies — The kind of group name that gets you really excited until you see what they actually look like. Not naked. Not ladies.