1. Grand Champ, DMX – The champ is back, the champ is back. Apparently the crack hasn’t killed him yet, just made him crazy.
- Mira Levitan
- John is the mayer of sucksville.
2. Thirteenth Step, A Perfect Circle – Get it, they are extending the typical 12-step program. Genius!
3. World Wide Underground, Erykah Badu – This is the spot that Outkast will occupy next week. Sorry Erykah, but Andre and Big Boi are coming.
4. Heavier Things, John Mayer – He’s no longer content with running through the halls of your high school.
5. Metamorphosis, Hilary Duff – After talking with Disney I can confirm her name is NOT Lizzie McGuire.
6. Dangerously In Love, Beyonce – Best track? Definitely no. 7 featuring Michael Keaton as Johnny Dangerously.
7. War All the Time, Thursday – That’s a creative name. Did you have a team of monkeys working around the clock on that one?
8. Greatest Hits Volume II, Alan Jackson – One ridiculously long and weird word – “Chattahoochee.”
9. Walk Wit Me, Sheek Louch – With Sheek you know it’s gonna be a walk to remember, you know, Mandy Moore style.
10. Deliverance, Bubba Sparxxx – Exxxcellent, coming in at No. 10 means you will be on the list just long enough for us to mock you.