Billboard top 10

1. Get Rich Or Die Tryin’, 50 Cent – While he was in da club, we peed in 50 Cent’s gas tank.

2. Come Away With Me, Norah Jones – Well, if the Grammy’s said she was good, it must be true.

3. Chocolate Factory, R. Kelly – (Write your own prison sex/statutory-rape/chocolate joke here.)

4. Chicago, Soundtrack – Nothing like showtunes to make you want to jump out a window and land crotch first on a parking meter.

5. Fallen, Evanescence – OK so we were wrong. Evanescence didn’t fall of the chart this week, but their time will come … Oh yes, it will come.

6. Cocky, Kid Rock – More like sucky. Zing!

7. Home, Dixie Chicks- Being blacklisted for opposing the president is the best thing they could have done. Maybe now people won’t buy this record.

8. Street Dreams, Fabolous – Our dream is that he gets hit by a bus.

9. Sean Paul, Dutty Rock – Where did you come from? This list has had the same 10 assclowns on it for weeks and you think you can just waltz in here?

10. 8 Mile, Soundtrack – Amazing how one song refuses to die.