1. Up!, Shania Twain – Did you know her real name is Samuel Clemons?

2. Now 11, Various Artists – Pssst … hey, do you know you can hear all of these on the radio eleventy billion times a day for free?

3. 8 Mile, Soundtrack – Detroit sucks.

4. The Last Temptation, Ja Rule – We’re tempted to sew Ja Rule’s ass shut and keep feeding him, and feeding him …

5. The Blueprint 2: The Gift and the Curse, Jay-Z – You could make about half of a decent album between the two.

6. More Than You Think You Are, Matchbox Twenty – Aren’t these stock-rockers dead yet?

7. Audioslave, Audioslave – Supergroup or high school band challenge semi-finalists? Seriously, that name is awful.

8. Under Construction, Missy Elliot – Is it a misdemeanor to suck?

9. Let Go, Avril Lavigne – OK, we get it. You like ties.

10. Justified, Justin Timberlake – Yo, what happened to that No. 1 spot? Looks like that hip-hop charade isn’t enough to save you.

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