1. The Documentary, The Game — All we care about is how many bullet wounds The Game is sportin’.
2. All The Best, Tina Turner — Tina, we wish you the best, now please tell us how you managed to debut at No. 2 ….
3. American Idiot, Green Day — “Boulevard of Broken Dreams?” More like “Boulevard of Unbreakable Dreams.” OK, that was lame.
4. Be As You Are: Songs From An Old Blue Chair, Kenny Chesney — Include the songs “Island Boy” and “French Kissing Life.” Kenny, are you trying to tell us something?
5. Get Lifted, John Legend — Music sure to get you feelin’ high.
6. Red, White & Crue, Motley Crue — If this album leads Tommy Lee to release more multimedia, please let it not be in video form.
7. Encore, Eminem — What, no song about killing your mom? Not even one?
8. Grammy Nominees 2005, Various Artists — See other title: “Now 17.”
9. Crunk Juice, Lil’ Jon & The East Side Boyz — If Lil’ Jon partied with us, he’d be rockin’ the pirate hat for sure.
10. Confessions, Usher— Still can’t get enough of this album. Part 2.