1. Encore, Eminem — The new single samples the children’s classic “Hush, Little Baby” but not the version from “Dumb and Dumber.” Bummer.
2. American Idiot, Green Day — Political slash musical rhetoric — so dated right now.
3. Crunk Juice, Lil’ Jon & The Eastside Boyz — We heard Whole Foods signed an “all natural” deal with the boys. Guess what the newest ingredient is.
4. Collision Course, Jay-Z / Linkin Park — Apparently after conquering the hip-hop universe, one must move on to trailer metal and psych-hippie kings. Who knew?
5. Red Light District, Ludacris — Luda, if we made as many albums per year as you, we’d run out of interesting titles, also.
6. Confessions, Usher — The most profound album title of the past year.
7. Get Lifted, John Legend — Debut with the name “Legend” in it? He sure is modest.
8. Loyal to the Game, 2Pac — Word has it this album is going to be supported by a lavish national tour.
9. Now 17, Various Artists — The 17th reminder that middle-school students are incapable of using the family computer to burn CDs.
10. Destiny Fulfilled, Destiny’s Child — We know these girls are BFF, but come on, you don’t see Justin knocking on Joey’s door for a comeback.