1. Encore, Eminem — Does Encore imply this is his last album? Because that’d be great.
2. Now 17, Various Artists — Featuring such timeless gems as “One Thing” from Finger Eleven and “Cold” by Crossfade.
3. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U2 — They should have started with how make a listenable album.
4. Destiny Fulfilled, Destiny’s Child — Sorry, Beyonce, but your destiny won’t be fulfilled until you drop that wanksta Jay-Z and get with us.
5. Greatest Hits, Shania Twain — More like … greatest tits. Har har.
6. Confessions, Usher — Why would you name yourself after the least glorious job in a movie theater?
7. Greatest Hits Volume 2, Toby Keith — VOLUME 2?!?!?!?!?!?!
8. Collision Course, Jay-Z/Linkin Park — Yeah, we’d say this car wreck was aptly named.
9. American Idiot, Green Day — At least they know their audience.
10. Red Light District, Ludacris — Red means stop, Luda. Stop making albums.