1. Encore, Eminem — Does Encore imply this is his last album? Because that’d be great.

2. Now 17, Various Artists — Featuring such timeless gems as “One Thing” from Finger Eleven and “Cold” by Crossfade.

3. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U2 — They should have started with how make a listenable album.

4. Destiny Fulfilled, Destiny’s Child — Sorry, Beyonce, but your destiny won’t be fulfilled until you drop that wanksta Jay-Z and get with us.

5. Greatest Hits, Shania Twain — More like … greatest tits. Har har.

6. Confessions, Usher — Why would you name yourself after the least glorious job in a movie theater?

7. Greatest Hits Volume 2, Toby Keith — VOLUME 2?!?!?!?!?!?!

8. Collision Course, Jay-Z/Linkin Park — Yeah, we’d say this car wreck was aptly named.

9. American Idiot, Green Day — At least they know their audience.

10. Red Light District, Ludacris — Red means stop, Luda. Stop making albums.

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