1. Encore, Eminem — Guess who’s back. Back again. Shady’s Back. Oh never mind, this album sucks.
2. Destiny Fulfilled, Destiny’s Child — I see Beyonce’s destiny, and it’s not with these two.
3. Crunk Juice, Lil Jon & the East Side — Now with Vitamin C.
4. Merry Christmas with Love, Clay Aiken — AKA Clay Aiken’s failed attempt to be hard.
5. Greatest Hits, Shania Twain — If only it were her greatest pics.
6. R&G (Rhythm & Gangsta): The Masterpiece, Snoop Dogg — This title isn’t long enough. Someone throw in a ‘shizzle.’
7. Greatest Hits 2, Toby Keith — Surprisingly it’s No. 1 in France.
8. Now 17, Various Artists — Because they couldn’t get it right the first 16 times.
9. Confessions, Usher — Confession No. 234: These aren’t good abs, it’s just good shading.
10. Powerballin’, Chingy — New lottery anthem or what a ’70s pimp does? We’ll never know.