1. Confessions, Usher — Yeah! Yeah! What?!? Thanks
2. Now That’s What I Call Music! 15, Various
— Music for 14 year-olds who don’t know how to burn
3. Greatest Hits, Guns n’ Roses — Axl Rose is
an anagram for oral sex. When is The Chinese Democracy going to
4. Let’s Talk About It, Carl Thomas — Bad Boy
releases another album. Unfortunately it’s not by Da
5. Feels Like Home, Norah Jones — Soccer moms need
music too. Everyone else, feel free to fall asleep.
6. Fly or Die, N.E.R.D. — Pharrel and the Neptunes
try their hand at making their own record. Weekend’s advice:
Stick to producing.
7. Fallen, Evanescence — Bad Christian rock.
8. College Dropout, Kanye West — Maybe I should
drop out of college too. If only I could make mediocre rhymes
9. In This Skin, Jessica Simpson — Since when did
reality TV stars get to release albums? What? She started by
10. When the Sun Goes Down, Kenny Chesney — The
perfect CD for the trailer park set. Comes complete with half-naked
people yelling at each other.