1. Feels Like Home, Norah Jones —
“Soothing” and “introspective” are nice
ways of saying “boring.”
2. Bad Boy’s 10th Anniversary … The Hits, Various
Artists — Please don’t retire, Diddy! Actually,
never mind — don’t worry about it.
3. In This Skin, Jessica Simpson — Certainly Nick
married her for her mind.
4. Fallen, Evanescence — What happens when
pasty-faced goth kids find religion? They make Top 10 records …
that suck.
5. When the Sun Goes Down, Kenny Chesney — It
appeals to the NASCAR-lovin’, Budweiser-drinkin’
redneck in all of us.
6. The College Dropout, Kanye West — Seriously, was
that line about Michael Jackson’s hair catching fire
necessary? Yeah, we guess so.
7. Songs About Jane, Maroon 5 — “This
Love” doesn’t suck nearly as much as it should.
8. Closer, Josh Groban — Josh has been described as
the male Celine Dion. Sucks to be him.
9. The Very Best of Sheryl Crow, Sheryl Crow — Too
bad her last name isn’t Raven. Then we could say,
“Nevermore.” Zing.
10. Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, OutKast — Andre 3000
squared equals Andre 9,000,000!