“My Best Friend’s Girl”
Lionsgate
At Quality 16 and Showcase
1.5 out of 5 stars

In theory, an on-screen love triangle formed by affable A-list stars should make for the ultimate comedic date movie. “My Best Friend’s Girl,” though, demonstrates why this remains a theory.

Kate Hudson (“Fool’s Gold”) plays an especially trampy bombshell named Alexis. Dustin (Jason Biggs, “American Pie”) is Alexis’s best friend, with whom she only wants to be friends. As she says, he is “Mr. Right, just not Mr. Right Now.” Maybe it’s because he’s addicted to porn.

And then there’s Tank (Dane Cook, “Waiting”), the ultimate asshole and a freelance “tanker.” He “tanks” girls — or in other words, he’s hired by males in troubled romances to purposely look bad on a date with the guys’ girlfriends. This, in turn, makes the distressed males seem more desirable in the eyes of these females. Comedian Cook, already known for his overtly crude humor, predictably inserts said humor into his role, rendering him not funny and, instead, repulsive.

The result of this love triangle is a “When Harry Met Sally”-like movie minus the romance. Instead, we get the word “asshole” used every five seconds. So, in the end, what we learn is three-fold: “Tanking,” in the words of Tank, is a “subtle art” delivered only by the most practiced piggish males. Next, the way to get over a crush is to acquire a stash of porn that Tank grossly calls “the bait crate.” And finally, unlike most fairytale teachings, the nice guy always finishes last. And all this equals another generic romantic comedy that’s 30 minutes too long.

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