Sorry, 2006, but it’s over. No, we’re serious this time – it’s not you, it’s us. All right, fine, it’s you. Come on, we’ve put up with a lot. It’s hard to believe we’ve done this for a whole year. We’ve had some good times ,yes, but oh, so many bad times. So this is it, our final farewell.

You did give us advice to live by. You taught us not to smoke (“Thank You for Smoking”), not to eat (“Fast Food Nation”) and not to waste (“An Inconvenient Truth”). You showed us that we could dance away all life’s problems (“Step Up,” “Stomp the Yard,” “Take the Lead,” “Happy Feet”). But that just wasn’t enough.

What happened to all the good things you promised us? You said we would be awestruck by “The Black Dahlia.” We weren’t. Hilary Swank can’t play a seductress! What were you thinking? You said “The Good Shepherd” would be the best spy thriller of all time. You lied. Where’s the heart? Where’s the soul? Where’s the real Matt Damon you replaced with an android?

Most of the time we were just bored out of our minds. Seriously, you gave us “The Wicker Man,” “The Grudge 2,” “Saw III,” “Bloodrayne.” Were those supposed to be scary? Really? We can’t believe you made another “Basic Instinct.” Isn’t Sharon Stone like 60 now? And come on – we’re in college. We know it’s not like “Accepted” or “Van Wilder 2.” Hot chicks do not come running out of the woodwork to get with guys who look like Justin Long.

We’re tired of the lies.

Besides, we’ve kind of been seeing 2007 for a month now. Yeah, you should be jealous. “Alpha Dog” will become the new “Scarface” for our generation, “Epic Movie” is sure to make us roll in the aisles and “The Hills Have Eyes II” looks like a really scary and well-thought-out sequel. We’ve learned from our mistakes with you. We know 2007 will treat us better than you did. It has to.

But we want to send you off remembering the best things you gave us this year. And there were some gems here and there, a few diamonds in the rough.

So here’s to you: the best films of 2006.

– Paul Tassi

Jeffrey Bloomer

1 United 93 – Paul Greengrass’s shattering vision of Sept. 11 uses unknown actors to bring together his intensely focused view of the only plane that didn’t reach its target. While it deftly avoids the tragedy’s politicization, its retrospective view points out how just five years later, the actual events have become immaterial to the response to them.

2 Children of Men – Alfonso Cuar

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