If you don’t like having diabetes, dying from heart and/or liver disease or acquiring the multitude of cancers scientifically linked to eating red meat and deep-fried anything, stay far, far away from Blimpy Burger. If you like polite, “we value our customers” service and change that doesn’t suck/fits in a vending machine (not half dollars), also stay away from Blimpy Burger.

If you like your service with snark instead of a smile, think that strange money nobody uses is fun and, most importantly, like your food drenched in gallons of greasy “good for you” oil, head to the “oldest hamburger stand in Ann Arbor.” The menu offers “other sandwiches & goodies,” but really, they only offer burgers, fries and other forms of deep-fried “cheaper than food” sustenance, unless you’re willing to tolerate torrents of abuse from the staff.

Then again, they’re not mocking you because they like to. Well, maybe they do. But if you’re ordering anything other than their juicy, delectable piles of freshly ground beef, and pairing that with an order of something that isn’t their delectably deep-fried mixed vegetables (like tempura but not as unjustifiably expensive), get out of line and leave Blimpy to the professionals.

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