I admit it. I watched “The Bachelor” on Wednesday.
I’m the biggest New York Giants fan at this University, and
if I could deal with the embarrassment of that playoff loss to the
San Francisco 49ers two years ago, I can deal with Giants backup
quarterback Jesse Palmer being The Bachelor. After mulling over the
future of the franchise, I realized Palmer’s latest gaffe
wasn’t all that bad — his teammates have warmed up to
the idea. Plus, with rumors of the Giants trading up to get Eli
Manning, Palmer’s future as a Giant is uncertain. And
seriously, what single man wouldn’t accept such an
opportunity? So, to help Jesse out (he is, after all, still a
Giant), I’ll evaluate what is better: his role as The
Bachelor or his role as a quarterback.
- Ryan Nowak
- Ryan Nowak
Rating:
59.8 as a quarterback (That’s horrible)
10.9 on ABC (That’s good)
Edge: Bachelor
Memory:
Can’t remember defenses
Can’t remember pretty girls’ names
Edge: Quarterback
Odds of Ring:
1 in 32
1 in 25
Edge: Bachelor
Runs from:
300 lb. lineman each week
A stalker (as seen in preview)
Edge: Bachelor
Heartbreak:
4-12 season with Giants last year
Inevitable
Edge: Push
The field:
Giants Stadium
25 beautiful women
Edge: Quarterback
Biggest critic:
His boss (Giants GM Ernie Accorsi)
Karen (he forgot her name)
Edge: Bachelor
Depth chart:
Backup
Starter
Edge: Bachelor
Biggest fear:
Sapp loves pretty boys Ending up with the spy.
It’s Jenny S!
Edge: Push
Education:
Political Science and Business degrees
Earning another Bachelor’s degree
Edge: Bachelor
Experience:
Four weeks (all losses)
Six weeks (Lots of “playing” time)
Edge: Bachelor
Stiffest competition:
Kerry Collins
Host Chris Harrison
Edge: Push
Final analysis: 7-2, Bachelor — It looks like
Palmer should quit his day job.