I admit it. I watched “The Bachelor” on Wednesday.
I’m the biggest New York Giants fan at this University, and
if I could deal with the embarrassment of that playoff loss to the
San Francisco 49ers two years ago, I can deal with Giants backup
quarterback Jesse Palmer being The Bachelor. After mulling over the
future of the franchise, I realized Palmer’s latest gaffe
wasn’t all that bad — his teammates have warmed up to
the idea. Plus, with rumors of the Giants trading up to get Eli
Manning, Palmer’s future as a Giant is uncertain. And
seriously, what single man wouldn’t accept such an
opportunity? So, to help Jesse out (he is, after all, still a
Giant), I’ll evaluate what is better: his role as The
Bachelor or his role as a quarterback.

Ryan Nowak
Ryan Nowak

Rating:

59.8 as a quarterback (That’s horrible)

10.9 on ABC (That’s good)

Edge: Bachelor

Memory:

Can’t remember defenses

Can’t remember pretty girls’ names

Edge: Quarterback

Odds of Ring:

1 in 32

1 in 25

Edge: Bachelor

Runs from:

300 lb. lineman each week

A stalker (as seen in preview)

Edge: Bachelor

Heartbreak:

4-12 season with Giants last year

Inevitable

Edge: Push

The field:

Giants Stadium

25 beautiful women

Edge: Quarterback

Biggest critic:

His boss (Giants GM Ernie Accorsi)

Karen (he forgot her name)

Edge: Bachelor

Depth chart:

Backup

Starter

Edge: Bachelor

Biggest fear:

Sapp loves pretty boys Ending up with the spy.

It’s Jenny S!

Edge: Push

Education:

Political Science and Business degrees

Earning another Bachelor’s degree

Edge: Bachelor

Experience:

Four weeks (all losses)

Six weeks (Lots of “playing” time)

Edge: Bachelor

Stiffest competition:

Kerry Collins

Host Chris Harrison

Edge: Push

Final analysis: 7-2, Bachelor — It looks like
Palmer should quit his day job.

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