How to win friends and influence people

I was running late to give a PowerPoint presentation in one of my classes recently. I scampered into the classroom, where I was supposed to present, and plugged my computer into the projector.

I had already half-started my presentation. I finally got everything set up and opened my computer. I have an Apple, so you can shut it when you are in the middle of things and open it back up whenever you please and everything is still opened and on the screen – which is usually very convenient.

But this time, when I opened my computer and the screen was projected onto the wall, I wished that it didn’t do that.

The night before I had been watching the MTV show Bam’s Unholy Reunion. The next episode advertised his wife posing for Playboy. So I had been messing around with one of my friends and we were looking up the photos. So Playboy.com was on the screen.

I thought I was in the clear once I got that out of the way. But then my love of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue got the better of me. The SI Swimsuit website was also open.

At this point, the room was drowning in laughter. I tried to make things right with a little quip about my roommate using my computer. It might have worked, except for what happened next.

Once the windows were closed, I saw that my desktop photograph had been changed.

Everyone in my class was left staring at a fat, naked man wearing a women’s swim cap in what looked to be a child’s nursery.

After that, though, my presentation went reasonably well.

ASHLEA SURLES

The Fishbowl is a wonderland

Have you ever been in the Fishbowl when it closes?

Well, I have. And it’s scary.

I had thought the badly lit courtyard was open 24 hours all week, but at about 11 p.m. last week, the man who sits at the front desk loudly informed me it would close in half an hour.

I wasn’t upset – it gave me an unexpectedly viable reason to stop doing work. If anything, I was grateful.

And then it happened.

With no warning, the computing site went completely dark.

The front desk was blasting “Your Body is a Wonderland” by John Mayer.

Confused and frightened, I left.

One thing is clear: I’ll never look at those front-desk workers the same way again.

JEFFREY BLOOMER

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.