5. Rolling Stone’s “500 Greatest Albums of All
Time” list —
Alright, so everyone knows that Big
Star’s #1 Record — quite obviously the 437th best album
ever released — should not have been buried at 438.
Otherwise, the list is flawless.

Mira Levitan
(Courtesy of Roc-A-Fella)

4. Anthropology 425, “The Evolution of War and Peace in
Unstratified Societies” —
Actually overheard at a
University counseling appointment: “You don’t want to
take that, not unless you want to learn about thousands of natives
running at each other with spears and boomerangs. Besides,
it’s only two hours a week, and they give you three credits
for it.”

3. Handclaps — Please see Broken Social
Scene’s “Stars and Sons” and the Strokes’
“12:51,” during which indie rock poses the question,
“Do you love me, now that I can dance?”

2. “Die Hard” and “Die Hard 2: Die
Harder” —
The finest holiday films ever made. Not
to be confused with “Die Hard: With a Vengeance,” the
finest summer film ever made.

1. Hypin’ the new Jay-Z album — The new
“Hypin’ the new Outkast album.” ‘Kast got
early press, but give the slight edge to Hova and his Hall
of Fame lineup of producers. Real Bronx Bombers don’t get
dropped by the Marlins in six.

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