5. The Beach Boys’ Smile. Finally —
Recorded in 1967 as a follow up to Pet Sounds and a retort
to the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club
Band
, Smile was shelved when frontman Brian Wilson lost
himself in paranoia and drugs. The Holy Grail of lost albums sends
shivers into the very heart of my rock ‘n’ roll
nerd-dom.

Mira Levitan
(Courtesy of Cartoon Network)

4. “Die Hard: With a Vengeance” — In
anticipation of summer, a quick nod to the finest summer film ever
released. This is not to be confused with “Die Hard 2: Die
Harder,” the second-greatest holiday film ever released.

3. Jaded Robot at www.chunklet.com — Whatever. This
Furious Five was so much better when Andrew showed me a printout of
the original Word document. I was too busy alphabetizing my
Chapterhouse singles to really read it, however, but I can’t
imagine he’s improved it much since then. Whatever.

2. Aqua Teen Hunger Force — Meatwad, Frylock and
Master Shake are crime fighters, but mostly they just sit around
the house. It also features the best theme song since “Green
Acres.”

1. Baseball — The Passion of the Johnny Damon: Too
bad his new beard won’t improve his arm … or his OPS.
And leave it to the Cubs to — literally — let Mark
Prior’s Achilles heel dampen the season. Will the circle be
unbroken?

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