Today, a girl in my class asked me if I liked having a lob — a long bob. That’s a great question, extremely relevant to life and all, but my hair falls past my chest. Now, is this the byproduct of pure ignorance or one of pure confusion from society’s constant need to give every new trend a short and catchy name? You be the judge.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the lob — the concept of it, anyway. It’s so very nonchalant. Not to mention low-key casually chic. It serves the purpose of being sophisticated, but at the same time it also embodies the characteristics of its not-so-distant cousin twice removed — the mullet, with just that right mix of business and party.
Your hairstyle defines you, I get that more than anyone. I’m that girl at the hair salon who brings a new picture of Kate Middleton to show my hairdresser every time I go (somehow I never end up looking like her) as I sit there cringing in my chair while less than an inch of my hair is cut. For girls especially, hair is a kind of security blanket.
The trending lob represents more than that awkward in-between haircuts phase, however. It is a symbol of just how much the world is changing, and I am being totally serious. As hairstyles for girls start to get shorter again, and guys’ are getting longer (never change, Jared Leto) — the lob is just the cornerstone of the new and different ideas for what it means to be sexy, feminine, masculine … you get the idea. The lob is not just the haircut of 99 percent of fashion bloggers on Instagram right now; the lob is empowering.
While I encourage everyone to stay up to date and educate themselves on what a lob is, remember, it is more than a haircut, but still nothing more than a trend. And for those of you just getting into the lob, sorry, but apparently, the wob is the new thing. Think about it: the wavy bob. Beyoncé had it for a week before she had those (hideous? life-changing?) bangs, J-Law is currently at that awkward wob stage since growing out her pixie cut. Emma Stone rocks it, even Taylor Swift is all up on the wob game (hoping it gets her another breakup perhaps?).
What’s next? What about resurrecting “the Rachel?” That has personality. The blob? The cob (crimped bob)? I want the royalties if that last one takes off.
I love the concept of the lob; it’s great, it’s change. But, either it’s a bob or it’s not, people.