I so wanted to like this album. Really, I did. I rooted for Lambert all of 2009 as he sped to the finale of “American Idol” only to be crowned the runner-up. I stood in the audience during the “Idol” tour clapping loudly. I bought all his other albums. I lauded his tour with Queen. The Original High just, well, doesn’t really live up to the name.
The Original High
B-
Adam Lambert
Warner Bros.
It seems as though co-producer Max Martin might be losing his touch. While Lambert’s third studio album comes with a few stand-out songs — “Rumors,” featuring Tove Lo, is a radio-ready duet with easy-to-follow sing-along melodies and lyrics, complete with a backing track that I can only assume was legally sampled from Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop”, and “Lucy,” featuring Queen guitarist Brian May, has a hard-driving chorus and killer solo from May — the rest hovers right around mediocrity.
“After Hours,” the first bonus track on the deluxe version, is the only exception. At first listen, it doesn’t seem like a great song, but it quickly becomes compelling and haunting, making me wonder why it didn’t make the cut for the main track list, especially over monstrosities such as “Another Lonely Night” which changes tunes so abruptly between the verse and chorus that it’s painful to listen to. The other bonus tracks, “Shame” and “These Boys,” probably shouldn’t have even made the cut for the bonus-track listing.
The actual lead single, “Ghost Town,” is a fine enough song. It showcases Lambert’s vast vocal range, not only in pitch, but in control and dynamics. But it’s really nothing all that different or special. The title track, “The Original High,” could probably do well in dance clubs if it were remixed to be slightly faster and had more bass. The rest of the album, though, contains average melodies and beats that cannot be saved by the even-worse lyrics that try so hard for meaning it’s like listening to Miss South Carolina explain maps.
Thus, I give you: The Original High tracks (bonus included), represented by their worst lyrics and/or their lyrics that try the hardest to rhyme, because the album is filled to the brim with fifth-grade level poetry.
“Ghost Town”: “I tried to believe / In God and James Dean” (wut?)
“The Original High”: “Summertime it stays on my mind ‘cause you and me are alive inside / summertime it stays on my mind ‘cause you and me never die inside”
“Another Lonely Night”: “I don’t give a fuck if the sun comes up” (slightly melodramatic, no?)
“Underground”: “I look at myself and I don’t know / How I’m stuck to you like velcro / Can’t rip you off and go solo” (Yes. I think this is my personal favorite.)
“There I Said It”: “I’m a grown-ass man, / and I won’t live again” (This is a very close second.)
“Rumors”: “I guess we’re in deep, I guess we got higher / You’ll never believe what I heard on the wire / I know it ain’t right, it’s getting so tired / If we put up a fight, we’ll be fueling the fire” (This is the entire first verse. Those internal rhymes, though.)
“Evil in The Night”: “Keep me on a leash tonight” (oh, OK)
“Lucy”: “Innocence under attack / She was bound to be stabbed in the back”
“Things I Didn’t Say”: “Can’t we get back / on track?” (srsly r w3 in kind3rgard3n?)
“The Light”: “They say that I knew that I’m never green / That I will rage against the machine”
“Heavy Fire”: “Just like an honest liar / Taking on heavy fire” and “Just like a funeral pyre / Taking on heavy fire”
“After Hours”: “Late night, power” (this isn’t terrible, but it gives me such a late-’70s vibe)
“Shame”: “God knows I’ve been a very bad boy / But God knows I didn’t break your toys” (…)
“These Boys”: “These boys, these boys wanna slow me down / These boys, these boys who you calling clown?”
Which do you think wins the prize for the best worst lyric? Let us know in the comments, and the winner will hopefully never be released as a single.