Baked 1
Remember when I was an innocent little freshman and I said I’d never touch anything harder than alcohol or weed? Yeah, me too. Well, I just put a tab of acid under my tongue. Are you proud, Mom? Baked 3 talks about LSD like it’s a life-changing experience, so I better be extracting some greater meaning about existence or else I’m going to be pissed. Am I supposed to be thinking this eloquently when I’m tripping? SHIT WAIT why can’t I speak eloquently then??? I swear I’m not actually dumb I swear I speak English I swear I can formulate real sentences WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. Shit, what if this means I can’t be a writer anymore when the acid wears off? What if everything I’ve ever worked for then goes to waste???

Honestly, why do our decisions matter so much? Someone just needs to make decisions for me right now. I’m sitting down at a show and I NEED to get out of here but my body can’t move. I’m being drawn to the ground by gravity. I feel like I’m on a cloud and the wind needs to carry me away, but I have no control of my movement myself. Shit, I would HATE if people made decisions for me. GIVE ME BACK MY CONTROL.

Maybe I just need to live in the moment. Breathe. Some things are feelings that words can’t describe. Breathe. Go with the flow. Breathe … Does this mean I need to be more experimental with my life? Do I overanalyze too much? Do people think I’m a cold-hearted bitch? Why does everyone talk so much about masturbation these days? Is it that revolutionary? Am I missing out on something great? Why – BREATHE. Stop thinking. Stop talking. Breathe.

— Daily Arts Writer

Baked 2
I’m currently lying on a bean bag in the miller lite tent. Acid is way better than miller lite, let me tell you. Miller lite on acid is v good, too, if you were wondering. I really shouldn’t be snapping right now. Dayum that guy has really bright-red shorts. I can’t stop laughing. What am I even laughing at? Myself? Oh yeah that’s it, the joke is me and I’m the only one in on it, fuck all y’all. Jk love u, * high fives a few people * Now I’m in the comedy tent, I don’t know a single one of these comedians but damn they are good. Why won’t this guy stop screaming banana and chocolate in some weird French voice? I think he is talking directly to me. Is that stage supposed to be moving? Why does everyone in here have black masks on when I’m not looking at them? I guess you don’t need to see comedy? I think I need to lay down for a bit.

— Daily Arts Writer

Baked 3
For once I’m the least fucked-up person at this shindig, but I successfully peer pressured my colleagues into dropping acid so maybe I’m the most fucked up. But I mean did you know the only reason LSD is illegal is because back in the ’60s people who took it went out and protested after. How fucked up is that? Fight the power bruh. Anyway, we snuck in a bowl and I’m feeling nice. Baked 1 keeps getting up and talking about rolling around on the ground and Baked 2 is just sitting there laughing and staring at his phone. #squadgoals. I’m tryna watch some shows, though, so I can’t be babysitting them all day. Somebody has to be a professional around here, dammit. I dropped them off at the Comedy Tent, so they’re Ron Funches’s problem for a bit. Unknown Mortal Orchestra is pretty great, even though the lead singer dude wears his guitar strap on the wrong shoulder. A girl next to me thinks that’s pretty hipster but I’m not convinced. It’s really goddamn hot out here, I don’t understand how anybody could possibly hook up at this thing. You’d die from a heat stroke (pun intended). Also literally everybody here smells horrendous. Except the VIPs. It’s like the middle ages out here — only the VIPs have showers and the security guys are just there to keep you out of their air-conditioning tent. If it wasn’t so hot I’d say something but I think I’m just gonna go lay under a tree. Man I’ve got the munchies really bad … but it’s $9 for a taco!!!! WHY IS IT 9$ FOR A TACO?!?!?! WHY?!?!??! THEY KNEW I WAS GONNA DO DRUGS!!! DAMN YOU CAPITALIST BONNAROO OVERLORDS!!!!!! THE GAME IS RIGGED!!!! SAVE US KENDRICK!!!! OR MAYBE KILLER MIKE!!!!@!! I’M SO SWEATY!!!!

— Daily Arts Writer

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