I was always goal-oriented. I actually can’t recall a time when it was any different, even when I was four years old. There had to be an end in sight, I would not just do something for the hell of it, there had to be purpose. Now, being goal-oriented when you’re in elementary school and being goal-oriented when you’re (almost) 21 and in college are two very different things. When I was 11, being goal-oriented meant needing to finish a book, or place first overall at my dance competition. Today, as my junior year in college begins to come to a close, being goal-oriented means figuring out what I want to do with my life, figuring out my future. And it’s because of that, that for the first time in my life being goal-oriented actually scares me to death, instead of bringing order to my life. Honestly, the word future makes my heart race a little.

I came to college believing that I was going to be a doctor, a neurosurgeon to be specific, because God forbid I make my life easier in any way. I am now planning on going to law school. Let’s just say chemistry was not my forte, but I digress. The point is that I’m expected to have this goal, as a junior, I am supposed to know whether or not I want to go to grad school or law school or if I plan on just making an attempt at entering the workforce right out of college (I definitely am not). Having a goal-oriented attitude is no longer an option or something I pride myself on, or one of my weird personality quirks, it is something society has forced upon me.

But what if I really just don’t know yet? Or what if I still want to be everything from a dancer to a veterinarian like I did when I was 10? Why has the option to explore my options been stripped away from me just because I am older?

Picking a career is not something anyone should do lightly. After all, it could end up defining the rest of your life (yes, that sentiment makes me want to cry also). However, there is somewhat of an expectation that you should know what you want to do upon entering college. Find a major, find a career, have a goal. Just pick one. Obviously, give it some thought and take some time to figure it out, but not too much time, I mean, how dare anyone be a junior who hasn’t declared a major yet, which I was. I was the junior who hadn’t declared her major yet. Everyone else had declared, but I wasn’t ready, it’s a big commitment and if I was to say I didn’t have commitment issues I would be lying. And yet, I’ve committed to psychology because I wouldn’t dare go into my second semester of my junior year without having declared my major. That simply was not allowed.

So now here I am, a junior in college with a major and two minors and a pre-law track. Can you tell I’m confused? If you can’t you’ve clearly missed the point so far. I am confused but I’m also only 20, so shouldn’t that be OK? Isn’t this the time in my life where I’m supposed to be unsure and make mistakes and just throw caution to the wind?

It was just about two years ago that I moved out of my parents’ house and now I’m supposed to know what I want to do with my entire life? It seems absurd. What if I get to law school and I hate it? What if I should’ve become a teacher? Or a writer? Or famous? OK, that last one is a bit of a stretch, but still. Most college students have just become legally responsible for themselves and then they turn around and are expected to make all these life-changing decisions.

I have no idea where I will end up and that’s OK. We need to realize that our major or career aspirations do not have to define the rest of our lives. Our goals change since we as people continually change, and if it takes a little longer to figure out what exactly our goals are, that’s OK too. And when all else fails, you can always audition to be on “Survivor.” At least that’s what my plan is.

Jordyn Kay is an LSA junior.

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