“Why are you going home this weekend?”

Frozen on Ice

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The Palace of Auburn Hills


“I’m going to ‘Frozen on Ice,’ ” I said, straight-faced. I don’t mess around when it comes to the “awesomely cool” new age classic (the tickets were free, so that didn’t hurt either). But no matter the ticket price, it was certainly a spectacle worth seeing.

Before the show at The Palace, a cast of classic Disney characters glided across the ice gracefully to get the child-dominated crowd prepped for the show. Princes, princesses, lions, fish and a nightmarish Pumba did rounds with their specific theme songs before the show got underway. Mickey began to tell Minnie (let the record show that they are married, NOT brother and sister, as I have thought my entire life) a story about true love, between sisters. It was a progressive message that most Disney stories haven’t yet embraced compared to the typical prince/princess story lines.

Out of excitement for “Frozen,” moments before the show began, I had a minor panic attack, a reaction friends who I brought for moral support successfully made fun of. Wait, will it be the actors’ voices? Or the ice skaters’ voices? Will it be the skaters singing? I do not give a shit about their voices. GIVE ME IDINA MENZEL AND KRISTEN BELL OR GIVE ME DEATH. After a vocally questionable intro with Sven and Kristoff, it was clear they kept near identical voices to the movie and the exact soundtrack recording for the musical numbers. Phew.

Furthermore (and I guess more importantly than my burning questions) the ice skating adaption stayed true to the film’s plot points, with minor cuts due to restrictions by the live production. Elsa and Anna’s parents were not present in the performance (But do we care? They were kind of dicks). Anna falls into a fruit stand instead of a boat when she first meets ultimate fuck-boy Prince Hans. But no worries, the really important stuff is still there. Olaf’s head comes off as many times as I could’ve asked for, Elsa whips off her cape in her fuck-you-guys-I’m-awesome anthem “Let it Go,” and of course, there was an impressively large, inflated snow monster, which successfully scared the shit out of the young children surrounding me.

The live production was impressive to say the least. It came with snow falling from the ceiling, sparks and the occasional flame. A contraption on the ceiling worked in tandem with a staircase on the floor to give a buyable version of Elsa’s HGTV-dream ice castle.

The biggest disappointment of the show was definitely when several green balls (presumably trolls) rolled across the ice into a woodlands set. We waited and waited for people on skates to burst out of their balls into full-on troll-hood, but to no avail. Soon after Anna and Kristoff’s dialogue, the balls rolled away and skaters came onto the ice separately. A small, yet extremely disappointing moment.

Sans some ball-enclosed Trolls, “Frozen on Ice” was everything I expected it could be. I got to sing “Let it Go” alongside an arena full of tiny humans, and believe it or not still got a little choked up when Anna saved Elsa. The ice-skating added another aspect to the “Frozen” story, and the actors skated flawlessly around the arena floor for two hours slowing through dialogue and catchy musical numbers. Leaving Ann Arbor for the day and missing that party at Tower Plaza that was all over Yik Yak was totally worth it. “Frozen on Ice” was totally worth it.

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