Gray sweats, gray crew neck. We have all done it at some point: the unmistakable and completely atrocious groutfit (a portmanteau of gray and outfit, if you live under a rock). There are two distinct roots behind a mind that chooses an all gray getup: 1) You, like my father, simply don’t care what you’re wearing, especially if it is just around the house, or 2) you, like me, have lost your mind and your life is just in shambles (see: finals week). So, my question is: if someone with a decent sense of fashion like myself opts for an ensemble representative of all 50 shades of grey, why must you kick me when I am down?

Comments come from siblings; verbal harassment from friends and “oh, honey” looks come from hall mates. Groutfit rockers understand they exceed the comfort levels of others with their choices, but believe me when I say groutfits are the official uniforms of rock bottom. Once there are three essays, a French presentation and a Michigan Daily article on the line, fashion goes out the window, down a hill and drowns itself in tears and coffee. Instead of the aforementioned reactions, give a hug, thumbs up or a slightly creepy wink to show you’ve been there too.

As a personal rule, I try my hardest to never leave the house in my groutfit and all its greatness, but hey, shit happens. A quick trip for Kroger sushi does not present enough motivation to put on a different colored pair of sweatpants or sweatshirt. So we can extend the family and friends rule to strangers in supermarkets …

You know my groutfit, not my story. So kindly step off and let me have my $4 California roll with a sliver of dignity.

What’s even with the color gray? Why are my gray sweatpants so much more enjoyable than my black ones? Why is my gray UM crew neck superior to the blue one? Maybe it is all in my mind and that of my fellow groutfitters … (Just realized Urban Groutfitters would be a great Etsy store).

Also, in defense of the color gray: is there a better color (excluding black) to create an entire outfit out of? A student in my high school once wore green sweatpants and a green sweatshirt (he went to State … if that needed further explanation). It was awful, and I would pick a groutfit any day over a greenfit. Or a red, blue or yellow ensemble as well.

From one groutfitter to the rest: embrace it, and don’t let any person in jeans tell you shit. Rocking a groutfit is rocking a state of mind – a state of mind that says “leave me alone and let me desperately try to get my life together.” And for those who wear groutfits because they just don’t know anything about dressing themselves (I’m talking to all of the fathers out there): stop. You’re making the rest of us look like fools.

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