As I’m sure you know if you’ve been on Twitter or TikTok (or have been keeping up with the Michigan Daily TV) at all recently, season two of “Love is Blind” officially came to a close last week with the release of season two’s reunion episode — with each minute messier than the last. Now, if you’re a similar viewer to me, a mess is exactly what you came for — but there are some aspects of the reunion episode about which the internet has been eerily quiet or just dead wrong.
First, Shake is a real piece of shit. You know that. I know that. Your mom who doesn’t have a Netflix account knows that. Deepti sure as hell knows that. Even Shake’s own mother seems to know that. So Shake deserves all the hate he’s getting and then some, based on comments alleging that his behavior was even worse during the season than we saw on screen. The reunion was basically a reckoning for Shake — not a single person there, cast member or otherwise, was willing to put up with his shit any longer, and it showed. Seriously, Deepti just had to sit back and watch everyone else say what we were all thinking. The hosts, Nick and Vanessa Lachey (who, until this very moment, served little to no purpose in the show for me), also deviated from their typical stance of open-ended questions and pot-stirring to slam Shake, and rightfully so. (To say that Shake didn’t take it well would be an understatement). Even Shayne, who I honestly can’t stand for the way he consistently gaslit Natalie, knew that Shake had crossed many, many lines.
During the reunion episode, Shake’s comments ranged from dubious to outrageous. He said that the show wasn’t about finding a wife, that he wanted to be “partially blind” and wished it were called “Love is Blurry” instead. He went on to state that marriage is like “making a huge purchase” and that the only woman in the room he was attracted to was Vanessa Lachey (a comment he made in front of her husband and cohost). Nobody minced words in their responses; Shayne said “I just can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth honestly,” Nick said he “unfollowed (Shake) because (he’s) so unbearable” and Iyanna told Shake that “I think we’d all like it if you just shut up in general.” Let me just say, I’ve never agreed with someone so much.
In their condemnation of Shake’s season-long (and, I’m sure, lifelong) fatphobia and objectification of women, those in attendance at the reunion allowed ableism to flourish on many levels. There were a million ways to call out Shake for his behavior without stigmatizing people with Cluster B disorders and generally perpetuating an image of disabled people and women who wear anything more than a size two as less than human. But when Shake emphasized (for the zillionth time) the importance a woman’s body holds for him in the romantic equation, Vanessa responded, “What if she’s mangled in an accident? What if she gains weight? What if she loses her hair, her legs and her arms? Are you not gonna love her anymore? I hope to God if I’m mangled, knock on wood, (Nick) stands by my side.” Vanessa wasn’t wrong to say that if you love someone, you should love them even if they suffer significant trauma or experience physical changes to their body. The implication, though, that someone who is “mangled” or puts on weight or lacks hair, arms or legs is inherently less desirable cannot stand. Vanessa is in many ways conventionally attractive, as are the rest of the cast members, but disabled people are also downright sexy and I won’t have a former Miss Teen USA or anyone else implying otherwise.
Another significant blunder came from Iyanna. When Shake went off on yet another tangent following his comment that Vanessa is the only woman in the room he’d bang, Iyanna said, “Shake, I think you would seriously benefit from seeing a psychologist and figuring out some coping skills to navigate relationships as a narcissist because I think you’re going to continue to damage relationships.” Iyanna is damn right that therapy would help Shake and those he interacts with in the future, but that’s true for just about all of us. Most of us would benefit from therapy. It shouldn’t be an insult to say that someone needs help with their mental health, but it was delivered that way here, and it isn’t an uncommon dig. What’s more, Shake is a jerk, but I believe his comments about women and their bodies make him a fatphobic misogynist, not a narcissist. Whether he’s a narcissist or not isn’t for anyone to say except a trained professional.
I’m slightly ashamed to say that I, like many, briefly had hoped that Shake would grow from the person we saw in the earlier episodes who asked women in the pods about their weight before anything else. But I guess that speaks to our internalized misogyny that makes us believe a woman (especially one as incredible as Deepti) can or should change a man. Shake has expressed little remorse for his actions. In fact, when he comments on the experience, he often digs a deeper hole. However, it’s not only Shake who needs to think a little harder about what they said during the reunion and how they said it. Regardless of intention, our words take on incredible meaning once expressed — especially with regard to marginalized communities — it is crucial to recognize that power.
TV Beat Editor Emmy Snyder can be reached at emmys@umich.edu.