For the 103rd time in a row, the Michigan men’s basketball team’s season ended.
Such is the futility of sports. But, hey, you never know. Maybe the 104th season will never end.
In the meantime, now begins the weird space in time after a sports season wraps up in which people don’t really know what to do with themselves.
That’s why I’m here. I’ve spent the last few days brainstorming things you can look forward to in the next few weeks and months that will get you through this trying time.
(Note: Liverpool is going to win the Premier League, which I will spend the next month agonizing over, but I realize that isn’t applicable to everybody, so I left it out.)
Here’s what I came up with!
The Final Four
Basketball isn’t over, despite Michigan fans’ current feeling of emptiness.
And, even better, Wolverine fans likely have a rooting interest now that Michigan State beat Duke.
Even if that isn’t the case for everybody, there should be some elite games, and even if you don’t like basketball, you can at least drink beer and watch with friends or whatever you like to do. Yippee!
Baseball season is starting
Like it or not, there is not a single sport on Earth that takes up as much time as baseball.
Even for all its faults, every baseball game takes at least three hours, and you can waste the next six months watching that stuff.
Sure, the Detroit Tigers are seemingly in tank mode, but other teams are good. Join a fantasy league! Buy in! At the very least, you can bide your time until football season by researching Avisail Garcia and Kole Calhoun’s respective slash lines and deciding who warrants a start.
The Michigan football team has a new offensive coordinator
Despite your confused feeling that accompanies the Wolverines’ exit from the NCAA Tournament, there may be some great silver lining down the road.
Michigan hired Josh Gattis to lead its offense this season, and if his #SpeedInSpace promises are to be believed, the Wolverines could have an exciting, new offensive look this season.
Maybe that spells the end of Michigan’s drought against Ohio State and the long-awaited return to national prominence. Maybe it doesn’t.
Either way, this time before the football season is at least good for some hope. So look at those recruiting boards! Map out how badly the Wolverines will have to beat Middle Tennessee State for you to feel good about things!
Game of Thrones is returning
(This section has a spoiler warning, but if you aren’t caught up by now then what are you even doing?)
Alright, we’ll get away from sports for a bit and move to something that everyone alive enjoys.
Game of Thrones returns on April 14!
Who will sit atop the Iron Throne? Will Cersei meet the fate we’re all hoping for? Will Arya check all the names off her list? Will there be violence and death?
The answer is that I don’t know (except for the last question, to which the answer is most definitely yes). But the point is that the questions don’t matter. You’re going to watch it, and you’re going to love it no matter what they throw out there.
I’m going to graduate
I don’t want to jinx it, I guess, but I’m currently on track to graduate this semester.
I realize this has absolutely nothing to do with any of you readers, but I figure there are two ways of looking at this:
1) You don’t care about me at all, and you’re actually quite annoyed that I wrote this and that you’ve read this far. In this case, the positive is that I will be gone when I graduate, and you won’t feel obligated to read my articles with the hope that I’ll give some sort of insight about Michigan sports.
2) You are my mother — the only person I can definitely say is both reading this and cares deeply for my well-being. In this case, the positive is that you won’t have to pay my college tuition for much longer.
In either scenario, my Venmo is at the bottom of the article. I will consider quitting The Daily harder for every dollar I earn.
There’s probably going to be some good music released this summer. That should be cool.
You might meet the love of your life in the near future. Perhaps you’ve already done that, and you think you’re better than me.
If that — along with the other reasons — isn’t good enough for you, at least the Earth might cease to exist as we know it.
The cause could be anything. Climate change, the reversal of the magnetic poles, nuclear warfare. It’s a scary world out there.
So when you think about it, the Wolverines’ loss in the Tournament doesn’t really matter that much. There’s always a light — or a great eternal darkness — at the end of the tunnel.
Persak can be reached at email@example.com, on Twitter @MikeDPersak or on Venmo @Mike-Persak