Content Warning: This story contains references to gun violence.
MADISON — As I sat at the top of Kohl Center looking down at the Michigan men’s basketball team’s matchup with Wisconsin, my mind wasn’t on basketball.
It was on Brian Fraser, Alexandria Verner, Arielle Anderson and the entire Michigan State community.
It was on the families and friends of the three students that were senselessly murdered on Tuesday night, and the five others that remain in critical condition. It was on my own friends that remained sheltered in place with limited information for over four hours on Monday night, terrified for their lives.
My mind was fully 400 miles away in East Lansing, Mich. — nowhere near the game being played on the court directly in front of me in Madison, Wis.
And that’s where everyone’s minds should’ve been — and should remain.
“I talked to (Michigan State coach Tom) Izzo by text as well as (Michigan State coach) Mel Tucker,” Michigan coach Juwan Howard said postgame. “Let them know that we at Michigan — despite the sport and how we both are rivals — when it comes to a tragedy like that, you put the sport aside.”
In the wake of every mass shooting in America, there’s a cycle. There’s the tragedy. There’s sorrow. There’s uproar and outrage. There are thoughts and prayers. There are promises of change with no follow-through.
And then everything goes back to normal.
That cycle was repeated right before my very eyes on Tuesday night, just 24 hours after three students were murdered and five were critically injured on the Spartans’ campus. Aside from a short moment of silence and a graphic with #MSUStrong during pregame, things continued on as they normally do at a college basketball game.
But they shouldn’t have.
As videos played on the jumbotron — hyping up the crowd for a raucous game — and the players lined up for the tipoff, any outsider couldn’t have imagined that something horrific had happened just a few hours away.
That students had cowered in fear in their own dorm rooms and homes, because they couldn’t be sure they were safe from gunshots. That students had fled on foot from campus buildings. That students had scoured the internet for hours hoping for a sliver of new information and hope.
That parents had frantically checked in on their children, and three received the worst news they could ever imagine.
“It’s everybody’s worst nightmare when you’re a parent and you’ve got kids the exact same age and they know people on campus. That hits big time,” Wisconsin coach Greg Gard said. “I just send all my best wishes and thoughts to everybody in East Lansing and what they’re going through.”
It felt dystopian. That there could be hand-written signs dotting the student section with #SpartanStrong written on them, while heavily outnumbered by signs with Valentine’s day puns.
It felt dystopian walking into the postgame press conference and hearing normal questions being asked, about rebounding and defense and 3-point shooting and trash talk. The list goes on and on, and none of it seemed to matter to me.
Basketball just didn’t feel important.
What did feel important was the use of terms like “sharpshooter” and “sniper” in reference to players’ offensive success on the court. I could only cringe at the terminology thrown around so carelessly.
Sure, the uproar might continue on social media and in political debates. But in the insulated bubble of Kohl Center on Tuesday night, things were already back to normal.
It made me angry. That we were just going to move on. That we’d write normal stories and ask normal questions.
I don’t want to move on.
I want to stay angry, just as you should. I want to forget about basketball for one night in the wake of a tragic event and mourn the loss of people my own age. I want to have the difficult conversations and seek real change.
I don’t want just thoughts and prayers. I want action and accountability.
“I get home late last night, I don’t know what’s going on and my wife says ‘Hey, did you see what happened at Michigan State?’ and I didn’t think they played last night,” Gard said. “And then she starts to tell me, and that rocks you because nobody’s immune to it.”
On Saturday, if Michigan State travels to Ann Arbor for a rematch after beating the Wolverines at home earlier this season, there will likely be a moment of silence and maybe some branded T-shirts.
Just like there was after the shooting at the University of Virginia. Just like there was after the shooting at Oxford High School. Just like there always is. But after it, there’ll be a basketball game.
Don’t let it distract you from what’s really going on.