ST. PAUL, Minn. — Zach Nagelvoort looked up in search of an explanation.
Five other players remained on the ice of the Xcel Energy Center and surveyed the stands.
Three members of the Penn State hockey team looked ahead at the locker room they were preparing to enter. Nearly 15 fans leaned over the railing to congratulate their team.
Sophomore forward Andrew Copp looked into the near-empty stands while freshman forward Tyler Motte fixed his gaze on the ice.
But Nagelvoort glanced up, first to the shot line from 92:47 of hockey that just played out. Flashed across the board, he read 65-53 in favor of the Nittany Lions. He looked up just a bit further, for a brief moment, to read the losing score: 2-1.
Four minutes ago, Nagelvoort dropped to his knees and hung his head. He didn’t turn to look for the puck. He hadn’t seen it get past him anyhow.
Within seconds, Nagelvoort was swarmed by his teammates around the net. Sophomore netminder Steve Racine tapped him on the head and the 12th-ranked Wolverines huddled around him until he disappeared into a hypno wheel of maize and blue.
For what could be the last time this season, Michigan shook hands before Nagelvoort went to his spot just five feet away from the exit to the locker room. The seats all but cleared, not even 10 minutes after the final horn.
He looked up. Then to his left. He motioned the sign of the cross and bowed his head as he exited the ice. The scoreboard reset to zero.
***
This moment didn’t have to happen. Any one game — or one moment — could have altered the course. But it didn’t.
This is a team that controlled its own destiny weeks ago and instead left itself with a night that would either make a season, or break every last part of it. All against an opponent with three conference wins.
The team that needed one goal in the sudden-death overtime couldn’t find it. Not even when Andrew Copp came from behind the net to find the loose puck and fired a backhanded shot that bounced off the post and onto the red line.
For 1.2 seconds the puck fluttered around the red goal line and it spun without wavering in one direction or another. In 1.2 seconds, a season’s worth of pressure nearly vanished. In 1.2 seconds, a season’s worth of inconsistency ready to be disregarded.
But in 1.3 seconds, a season’s worth of pressure and stress that wouldn’t fall was kicked away from Penn State netminder Matt Skoff to the boards.
“I mean, I guess the hockey gods had our back on that play,” Skoff would say.
The team that struggled to find its identity, even when it knew what it wanted, struggled mightily once more. As if something was preventing it from executing.
If it really were up to some higher power, the puck would have moved two inches and across the line and the berth into the NCAA Tournament would have been all but secured.
Because for 22 years, it was the case.
Instead a new streak may be formed. Two years of watching, not playing, in the postseason.
And the season will reset once more.
***
Expressionless, Nagelvoort sits at the podium and looks up at the TV in front of him. Sophomore forward Boo Nieves answers questions while Nagelvoort watches the replay of the first goal he allowed.
He shakes his head during the replay and doesn’t break his stare into the distance. It’s another reminder before his walk back to the locker room.
The shock sets in now.
Senior defenseman Mac Bennett stands outside the locker room in the hallway. He has no words for how he’s feeling. He has no words for why his team, the one he captained all season long, played the way it did.
He flashes back to that goal that sent Nagelvoort to his knees — the moment that ended more than 92 minutes of hockey.
“That goal was my fault,” Bennett says. “That game was my fault. And this season might be my fault.
“It’s out of our control now. We’ve just got to sit and hope.”
Still outside the locker room, senior forward Derek DeBlois lowers his voice. He doesn’t stare up at reporters very often.
“We don’t know what the future holds at this point — it’s kind of out of our hands,” he says. “We’ll cross our fingers. Maybe say a couple prayers.”
It’s all you can do when 63 saves isn’t enough.
Garno can be reached at ggarno@umich.edu or on Twitter: @G_Garno