I keep thinking about Saturday, and I don’t know what to do with myself. For the last eight weeks, the Daily football beat and I have been in a press box somewhere, watching the Michigan football team play.
We’ve seen the Wolverines stumble in South Bend, we’ve seen this seven-game win streak, we’ve seen the Northwestern student body run across the field before the game and we’ve seen a lightning delay threaten our sanity in East Lansing.
But this week, Michigan has a bye, so I’ll be in Ann Arbor with no real itinerary. I assume most Wolverines fans are planning the off day, too, so I’m here to suggest some options.
Here are five good ways to spend your bye-week Saturday.
1. Mow your lawn
This first option is brought to you by my dad.
I don’t have a lawn to mow anymore, because I’m a boujee college student who lives in a college house that gets its lawn mowed by some service.
But I know that if I didn’t go to college and was still at home, my dad would ask me to mow our lawn, because there really isn’t an excuse not to.
I know what you’re thinking. It’s the fall and nobody will notice if your lawn gets a little out of hand before the snow starts falling. But I also know that you don’t really believe that, and you’re gonna have to mow or rake your lawn eventually, so why not throw a bag on that John Deere and do both at the same time?
2. Go to a cider mill
What a classic Michigan tradition. I haven’t been to a cider mill in several years now, but I’m strongly considering breaking that streak on Saturday.
The thing is that cider mills sound really great in principle but are kind of underwhelming in person. I don’t know if that’s a hot take. Maybe I’ll get scolded for this.
You drive to the cider mill, the foliage is beautiful, you can’t wait to get your hands on a nice, warm, flaky donut and some apple cider, but then you get there and it’s 40 degrees and windy, and really all you want to do is get back in the car right away.
If it was a gameday Saturday, I would think you were insane to consider going to a cider mill and skipping football, but you’ve got to go once this year, and the bye week seems like as good a time as any to make the trip.
3. Visit your parents
They miss you. Stop telling yourself that a phone call is enough. They’d love to cook you a meal and ask you about your job or love life or children or whatever your situation might be.
Most Saturdays, if you’re weighing a visit to your parents against sitting and watching football, you would almost certainly take the latter. But the bye week is a perfect time to get that visit in so you feel good about yourself when you don’t see them again for the final, four-week home stretch of the football season.
4. Go see “A Star is Born”
This is my favorite option. I’ve heard nothing but Oscar hype for this movie. Lady Gaga is apparently incredible, Bradley Cooper is believable and the soundtrack is stacked.
Okay, also it’s supposed to be heartbreakingly sad, but the movie theatre is dark and nobody will blame you for crying. Also, you probably haven’t had a good cry in a while, and it’s good to get those emotions out.
This also checks a box for when the Oscars come around. Every year, you have to watch at least one movie that gets some nominations. That way you can sound smart when you comment, ‘Oh, yeah, I saw that movie, and the two lead actors were good and so was the supporting cast and also the music was great.’
What more could you ask for?
5. Stay in, do nothing and watch football
You’re going to do it anyways, because you love watching football. If you didn’t love watching football, then why did you watch that ridiculous game on Saturday? Why, when there was an hour-and-a-half lightning delay, did you not think, ‘You know what? I’m going to find something productive to do instead of waiting for Gus Johnson to return to my television and start yelling at me again.’
But you didn’t do that, did you? You sat and waited like everybody else. So just give in to your feelings and watch that Michigan State – Purdue game or the World’s Largest Cocktail Party between Georgia and Florida in Jacksonville.
Personally, I’ve got my eyes on Wisconsin – Northwestern, because I believe the Wildcats are somehow going to win the Big Ten West with like a 7-5 record. That will be electric.
So just watch football. Something cool will happen, I’m sure, and you know you don’t want to miss it. There is no bye week for football fans.
See you on the couch.