exotic girls are the best

Sunday, March 10, 2019 - 7:01pm

to everyone who has exoticized me:

 

of course

i’m sorry

chase couldn’t like me because he thought i was nice

or cute

or funny

chase had to like me because i was asian

no

my name couldn’t have come from the bible

my name definitely came from “the” chinese archives

probably written in hieroglyphics in some ancient mountain scripture

oh

and

i couldn’t possibly be from cleveland

i needed to be born in a foreign farming village with a tongue twister of a province name

 

after all these years

i’ve had it all wrong

you see

i am finally understanding how you look at me

my black hair screams “submissive”

my brown eyes whisper “shy”

my golden skin cries “exotic”

i am a beautiful beta

ready for you to hypersexualize

you know the type

reserved but secretly sexually driven

soft-spoken but loud in bed

demure

easy

available

ready for you to court

ready for you to dominate

 

i’m so sorry i never saw things this way

it makes so much more sense

why you treat me the way you do

 

“i had an asian girlfriend once”

okay

and?

“i love asian girls”

so

am i supposed to be flattered or

“you’re really hot for an asian girl”

an oldie but a goodie

this one makes my heart swell with desire and gratitude!

 

--

 

asian women have long been crammed into this single image of being sweet and docile

 

but i am not your asian stereotype

 

and neither is the girl who sits next to you in lecture

 

or the server at your local chinese restaurant

 

we are all individuals

 

with our own personalities

 

quirks  

 

and lives

 

and we were not put on this earth

 

to sit here

 

and listen to your heartfelt desires for a petite asian girlfriend

 

i am not exotic

 

i am simply

 

an asian-american woman