Horoscopes for the Week of January 30

Sunday, January 28, 2018 - 7:44pm

With the beginning of Aquarius season, the end of January and the presence of a full moon and lunar eclipse this week, it is helpful to enter a meditative state. Every sign should communicate more and put their phone on airplane mode for at least one day this week. Energy should be harnessed, not spent.


Find something to believe in. Belief and vulnerability go hand in hand. The thing you believe in should be something outside of yourself, though that is of course vital. Fresh flowers are vital. Conscious heartbeat is vital. Once you believe, everything will feel vital except that which you originally thought was. There are still small piles of snow frozen to dead grass throughout this town. It is surprising, but that is what has happened.

Listen to “By My Side” by Porches and write a play. There is no shame in self-promotion once you believe in something else.


You will feel tired and you will realize that you must make a change. Idleness is avoidable and you know this. Hobbies seem appealing but appalling and it is because you have selected hobbies that accentuate idleness. It is time instead to help. It is always a choice, everything is a choice, fate is dependent upon choice. You need to choose to help in each choice you make this week. Help yourself by helping others. You do not need to join a volunteer group. You just need to listen. You will rest better than ever before. Next week will shimmer.

Listen to “Baby Blue” by King Krule and organize your pantry. Delve into the world of food sculpture.


Do not have arguments in your head before they occur. Do not accept awards in your head before they are given. Do not, in your head, make friends with the cool girl in your class on account of her pink scrunchie. Instead, write these conversations down. They are creative thoughts and you are not crazy for thinking them. People who talk about a creative process like to hear their own voice in their head. It is nice that you can hear others. Eavesdrop on a conversation about a couple being on a break. You may learn how to gain royalties off of a spited ex-boyfriend’s next album. He plays mandolin. This is a metaphor.

Listen to Talking Heads’ “This Could Be the Place” and avoid each crack in the sidewalk. You can step on cracks in bricks. That is OK.


You have been reconsidered, you have been reconsidering. This is an unstable state. Even though you have handled this instability with resilience, not everyone has. Moving out of instability is essential and it is slow but it does not have to be. The idea that all good things are slow and take time has truth but is not itself true. Find public art that makes you think about inconsistent truths. Do not take any photographs this week.

Listen to “Dance Yrself Clean” by LCD Soundsystem and choreograph a ceremony in your mind. Tell no one what this ceremony is for.


The stars say you will either receive a message or a massage from the full moon and eclipse. These are gifts. You will not receive both. Which would you prefer? If it is a message, you will need to decide to accept or deny it. This could be a difficult choice so you should not dwell. The first answer you arrive at is always right. If it is a massage, it may be physical but more likely it will take another form. Or you may just receive a massage. Maybe your shoulders are tense. Who could blame you?

Listen to “The Wheel” by PJ Harvey while filing your nails. You can choose to file them into points or smooth them out, depending on if you receive a message or massage.


Take some time to be by yourself. January was a lot and you should avoid situations where you will be the center of attention. It is time to focus your concentration and your mind. You often think of yourself as the refractor rather than the light. Really, you are the light and you have not discovered what the refractor is. Reflect on this scatteredness until you understand. Cultivate discipline and you will have luck. Only then should you stop.

Listen to Woody Guthrie’s “This Land is Your Land” and make a meal as much from scratch as possible. This is a kind of discipline. Ground yourself.


The passage of time always feels dramatic. Resist the temptation to despair because of it. There is no required timeline to do or be something or anything. It is OK to realize that not everyone feels this way. It is OK for people to pass. It is OK for definitions to change. Rivers were carved by glacial movement. It is OK for you to accept these things and realize you do not have to be upset. Justice is everything but justice can mean different things. You will have a happy week despite this.

Listen to Fleetwood Mac’s “Gold Dust Woman” while brushing your hair. You will become the gold dust woman. You always were.


Asking yourself questions is something you have fallen out of practice with. Ask a few. One to get you started is, “Have you had an achievement yet?” This feels most important. What is an achievement? You should come up with your own questions. As Jenny Holzer says, “BEING SURE OF YOURSELF MEANS YOU’RE A FOOL.” You are, of course, not a fool but it is easy to realize that you, indeed, are.

Listen to “Flower Power” by Greta van Fleet, especially the end where it gets quiet, while watching a tutorial on wood carving.


Daydream about far flung travels this week. Self-care too often is about a face mask made of goat cheese and gold leaf. Daydreaming is the original form of self-care. Daydream so much about these travels that you go on them. Tell everyone about the time you traveled to Mt. Kilimanjaro and back in an afternoon. They do not need to know it was in an afternoon. That is an Unnecessary Detail and should be avoided.

Listen to “Nice and Quiet” by Bedouine and figure out what nice and quiet means to you and if you want to be it. You don’t have to but it’s worth thinking about.


Do not sign any papers. Do not shake any hands. Do not make any bets, wagers, guesses or deals. Do not be paranoid about this. You will understand why when you look back and find the pavement has cracked even if the paint is perfect. Luck does not happen, it is curated. Throw away something you thought mattered to you. Hopefully it did not actually matter to you.

Listen to Sufjan Stevens’ “Visions of Gideon” and consider pivoting to video. We are all content to be content in 2018.


Look around you. There is geometry in people. All people are radii. There is tension holding you to people and pulling you apart. You make too many triangles and not enough diameters. Consider a prism. Who is in your prism? Who is part of it? Why are there so many triangles? Complete a proof that finds you the other radii that can, with yours, make a diameter.

Listen to “Girl Like You” by Toro Y Moi and brush up on theorems of Euclidean geometry. You will never again have such a good excuse to do so.


When was the last time you held an animal? Did you feel it was meant to be? Why has it been so long? Why has it all been so long? Remember you are an animal but more importantly so are the people around you. When was the last time you held them? Did you feel that it was meant to be? There will always be time to dance. Now is that time.

Listen to “Cherry-coloured Funk” by the Cocteau Twins and pour yourself a Shirley Temple. Make it your signature drink.