Erika Shevchek: The alpha female part 2
Alpha Female is an attitude. It’s an attitude that is not perceived negatively, but an attitude that serves as a role and as a mantra for every alpha female. A woman may not even know she has this role, this attitude; I was fascinated by how the alpha female attitude can affect one's mind, physical being and emotional state.
I did some research and talked to some ladies, all in pursuit of seeking an answer to the idea of how alpha female mindfulness is embodied –– when we embody the energy of a certain attitude, does it become us? I just so happened to find some answers to my questions, and for the sake of their truthful, vulnerable answers, I choose to keep these women anonymous.
I interviewed three women who I believe are alpha females –– women who I see wearing the attitude with pride and confidence. These women, however, interpreted their alpha-ness in three very different forms, and they explained to me how this role affects them in various mediums.
A career-focused busy bee reflected on her alpha-ness, and she feels this attitude strongest when she’s doing something that she loves.
“I feel it emotionally and spiritually, especially when I know something I have been working hard on by myself has payed off,” she said.
Nonetheless, when I asked her whether or not she believed she was an alpha female, her answer was surprising. She said that she never thought of herself as one, but she believed she contained some of the qualities that an alpha female possesses, like “know(ing) what I want and am willing to do whatever it takes to get there. I love setting difficult goals for myself and I am always pushing myself to be better.”
While one didn't even believe she was even an alpha, another woman didn’t discover her alpha-ness until later in her life.
With household hardships, this alpha female felt as though she was transformed through a mix of a choice and a duty to become an alpha.
“It took me years to be comfortable with identifying as an ‘alpha female,’” she told me.
At the age of nine when her parents divorced amid her father's own internal struggles, her verbally abusive stepfather came into the picture and her younger sister needed protecting –– her adversity designed her to become an alpha.
“I didn't identify as an alpha-female, and didn't believe that I was worthy of the praises that were being sung of me, because I was just doing what I had to, to survive,” she said. “Raising my sister, protecting her from John (stepfather), taking care of my dad, staying on top of school, and working as much as possible, none of that seemed extraordinary.”
“Whatever it was inside of me that sparked at age 9, and continues to smolder to this day, is what makes me an alpha-female,” she continued. “I am incapable of accepting injustices that are happening to me, or the people I love ... I won't settle for ‘just enough,’ I can't maintain superficial relationships, or accept anything but my all … what you see with me is what you get, I am strong, resourceful, assertive, and protective. I didn't want to be a sad-story written by misfortune. I decided to create my own story, because I had to get out of what had become my reality.”
As explained, she believes that her alpha-female energy is strongest when “faced with a great challenge, or emotional/physical hardship … My ‘alpha-female’ is something that I feel emotionally and spiritually more than anything else.”
Last, but so not least, is an alpha who is fully conscious of her alpha role. When asked whether or not she believes in her alpha female attitude, she confidently answered: “Yes. I am a boss ass bitch and I don't really follow society's standards/expectations, or others around me.”
The youngest of four girls in her family, she has been surrounded by powerful female energy her whole life. She is reminded everyday of her alpha-ness, especially when she surrounds herself with other girls.
“I feel my best / strongest when I'm with my group of girlfriends,” she said. “I don’t know if it's just because they all inspire me so much, or because they are so confident and loving that it reminds me why women are so awesome. We can do the impossible and it's like nothing to us. I think it’s just the positive vibes and love that I receive and give back.”
I interviewed three alpha women, three alpha women with three different interpretations and experiences of this attitude. One is still making her own definition of an alpha, another felt empowerd to become an alpha and there is one who knew of her alpha role all along. Regardless of how they view themselves, they all understand how this role (and how attitude and personality) makes such an effect on themselves as human beings.
These women proved to me that if you believe it, you can be it. Unfortunately, to some, this statement is cliché or seemingly impossible. But through spirituality, personal reflection (like meditation) and overall mentality, this belief is absolutely possible. These three women have discovered their alpha female-ness at different moments in time, but because they began to believe what they were, they owned it.
We will embody the attitudes, the mantras and the personalities we believe we are, both the positive and the negative ones. This leads me to my still-in-the-works conclusion: Any female-identifying person can be an alpha if they so choose to be. If you flaunt the attitude, feed the energy, believe in the confidence of your personality and prove to yourself that you have the power, that’s it. You’ve got it.