Best of Vine, 2013 – 2016

Wednesday, January 18, 2017 - 7:08pm

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In 2013, we were blessed. Two days ago, we were cursed. Vine’s all-too-brief life span was, of course, longer than six seconds, but it’s impossible to feel like our collective time with the app wasn't cut heartbreakingly short. Vine was essential to the culture at large, an outlet for people from any corner of the world to express their creative passion, yet it died at the hands of of cut-and-dry, joyless, Silicon Valley business dealings. For Twitter, specifically, its relationship to Vine was almost symbiotic; one fed into the other, artistic expression crossing the blurred lines of vaguely related social media. Here, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite Vines. Enjoy.

THREE BOX LOGOS

Trash. Blue Ribbon Select, USDA Grade A, organic, cage free millennial trash. Vine operated on the exploitations of the absurdist shit our shameless generation never ceases to produce, and for good reason — it’s great #content. An ambassador of these antics to the greater generational fringes of our world, Asspizza, a teenage anti-wunderkind whose various sartorial exploits and Sharpie-scribbled tees have lent the adolescent a bizarre public stage, unknowingly cemented his reputation as the caricatured cultural obelisk our generation did not deserve — this Vine being the best and foremost example. Vine has come and gone in, all things considered, an instant, but we will still remain the maligned, malfeasant gaggle of degenerates that American society has had the displeasure of welcoming. Thank you Asspizza. Thank you for your candid self-portraiture, thank you for your cultural contributions and thank you for your wonderfully haphazardly slapped together triple box logo Supreme hoodie. A budding star among aging nebulas.

— Anay Katyal, Managing Arts Editor

EXPOSE HIM

A beautifully simple Vine to honor a beautifully simple app. There are funnier ones, sure, but as I tried to narrow my candidates down to a single one, I realized there was no Vine that I had watched more than this one. The app became a cultural phenomenon, a vehicle for concentrated bursts of creativity and genuine expression, but for no community was this more true than for Black teenagers. There’s not much to describe here outside of a guy crossing up a dog like AI breaking Jordan’s ankles, and then the world’s greatest human, presumably our videographer, screaming “EXPOSE HIM!” in the background. That’s enough for me.

Nabeel Chollampat, Senior Arts Editor

MICROWAVE ZOEY 101 CONVERGENCE

This is the kind of cinematographic genius that makes me wish Vine wasn't being lowered into its grave. In his most popular project to date, seasoned Viner icoNICK juxtaposes two key elements of every millennial's life  a household appliance and  "Zoey 101"  with such expertise that I wonder whether he's dabbled in independent filmmaking. The reference to the show's theme song is simple, yet so utterly recognizable that any Nickelodeon fan could spot it (hint: when the timer turns 1:01, we're reminded of what meaning that number once held). To put it succinctly, icoNICK presents his followers with a carefully crafted, six-second masterpiece filmed on a phone. If he read this, he would probably tell me to calm down.

Tess Garcia, Senior Arts Editor

RUN AWAY WITH ME

To be honest, it's impossible to choose just one out of the many amazing Vines that exist out there. But if I had to pick, it would be this wonderful clip of a man skipping to the beat of Carly Rae Jepsen's effervescent '80s reminiscent "Run Away With Me." This was one of several Vines that used Jepsen's song, but this one is by far the most hilarious and creative. Whoever recorded this was extremely lucky, especially since the man's dancing in the Vine is scarily in sync with the "Run Away With Me," making for a perfect, smooth loop. It reaffirms the undeniable fact that Vine will truly be missed. God bless this video, God bless Carly Rae Jepsen, God bless Vine.

Sam Rosenberg, Daily Arts Writer

BACK AT IT AGAIN AT KRISPY KREME

This is my favorite Vine for so many reasons. First, the guy starts off by saying "Back at it again at Krispy Kreme," implying that back handsprings in fast-food donut shops is a normal Friday night activity. Then, can we stop for a second to talk about the athleticism involved? I mean, this is the type of stuff that people — myself included — can only dream about pulling off, and this man seems to be on his way to landing it without a hitch, until the last split-second of the vine, where he kicks the neon sign at full force, which is where the Vine ends. Did he stick the landing? What happened to the sign? Did he get in trouble? All of these questions are left unanswered, and that’s what makes this Vine so amazing.

Naresh Iyengar, Daily Arts Writer

NOT THE REAL VINE BUT STILL FUNNY

My favorite Vine of all time is one that I have never been able to find after the first time I saw it (such is the tragedy of trying to Google one of these masterpieces). The basic premise is a gym full of boys running at high speed, one large rope in hand. Mariah Carey, The Elusive Chanteuse, sings in her upbeat vibrato, working towards that impossible high note. As soon as she hits it, we discover what it is the boys have been pulling the entire time (estimated 3.5 seconds): a final boy appears, catapulted from the rope attached to his hips, and smashes into the ceiling above. Post-climax, a large part of the ceiling drops and crumbles to dust on the gym floor. End scene. (If you see or know anything about the whereabouts of this Vine, please email it to arts@michigandaily.com.)

Kathleen Davis, Daily Arts Writer

FUCK YOU TOO, BITCH

Next time someone hits me with a "fuck you, bitch" this is the content I'm going to channel. I will respond unfazed — like these seasoned veterans — with a slew of flat-yet-impassioned expletives before continuing on my way. Its inspirational, really.

Carly Snider, Senior Arts Editor

911 OPERATOR WHO REALLY LIKES SHARKS

Vine, as sad as I am to see it go, is essentially a cesspool of video clips that are as garbage as the white people who make them are rich — at least on the surface. Thankfully, the niche of absurdist Viners is the app's saving grace, contributing a plethora of absolutely ridiculous humor that often forced me to pause the 6-second loops in order to catch my breath. Here, we see Chance Crimin's masterpiece, a 911 operator whose obsession with sharks naturally comes before the person bleeding out on the phone.

Dominic Polsinelli, Daily Arts Writer

PEANUT BUTTER BABY

Before Vine ends, I will watch my favorite one, THE original peanut butter baby Vine 1,000 times. Although it has been recreated, dubbed over and remixed, the original seven-second hilarity of a baby covered in peanut butter on the kitchen table is pure genius. I seriously do not believe anything is as funny, strangely relatable and adorable as the peanut butter baby. Nobody really knows who the baby is, how he got into this predicament, and what happened after, but the beauty of the whole thing is nobody needs to. This one’s for you peanut butter baby. We hope you grow up to make choices that don't result in you covered in peanut butter –– dazed, nutty and confused.

Eli Rallo, For The Daily

I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER

Gavin got us. After his uncle put a lizard on his head, the kid skyrocketed to Vine stardom, quickly becoming the face of a generation much older than himself. Gavin reacted the world the way we did, so everything he did was instantly deemed worthy of #relatablepost status. Yes, Simone Biles, there is a Gavin meme for everything. Because Gavin was one of us. He was a child with the soul of a millennial, at once fascinated and horrified by the world around him. He was the heart of the Internet. This vine is Gavin at his best. It’s the ultimate clapback Vine, aptly subtitled “tag your ugly friend #cute.” And tag our ugly friends we did.

Madeleine Gaudin, Senior Arts Editor

THANK YOU

This is the purest vine of all time. That’s it. It’s just perfect. Thank you, Vine, for giving us this content.

Madeleine Gaudin, Senior Arts Editor