Stirring the Pot with Giselle is one of The Michigan Daily’s biweekly advice columns. Submit your questions here.
| I’m scared of Tinder. I’m scared of dating apps in general, actually. My body count is more than one but I’ve never hooked up with someone random, I already knew them and had some sort of base relationship with them. I also just got out of a sort of situationship (but unfortunately my feelings aren’t gone) and my friends keep saying I just need to hook up with someone else to get over it. What do I do?? (For context, I’m a bisexual woman)-L |
Dear L,
It’s totally chill to be scared of dating apps, and you really shouldn’t worry about meeting someone new to get over a previous relationship (I’m not sure that’s how feelings work). If your friends are suggesting it and you’re interested in the idea enough to ask about it here, I think you should consider how relieved you may feel about my advice. This is sort of like when you ask your roommate if you should get the cherry or green apple flavor of something, and when she recommends the cherry you instinctively think “NO!!!!”
I don’t think it’s worth finding out if you like hooking up with people you don’t have a relationship with until you actually feel you want to — not when your friends think it would be good for you. Don’t force yourself into something you don’t actually want to do, especially if you already have feelings for someone else. Write some poetry and cry a little. Go on long walks in the Arb. Only get on Tinder or hook up with someone if you — and only you — want to. Otherwise, you will only ever be comparing the new person to your old situationship.
Your recommended reading is: “Modern romance is dead, and Tinder killed it” by Tate Moyer.
| Hi, it’s J again. I found a new roommate to replace the one who ran off with the circus, but now my new roommate thinks he’s better than me. He walks around the house like he owns the place! I hate him. What do I do now?-J |
Dear J,
It’s great to hear from you again! Have you ever considered that your attitude is the problem? You are the only common denominator of two supposedly “bad” roommates. Try some self-reflection before anything else.
If you come to the realization that you are still perfectly tolerable (but really are just boring and have no future in the circus), I think now’s the time to introduce your new roommate to a new career. Does he have any special talents? Show him a video on juggling — maybe he’ll run off to the circus too. Considering the speed at which you got a new roommate, I doubt you’ll have any trouble getting another!
On the other hand, you could just tough it out. You are closer to the end of the semester than you know. Start sleeping in the living room or kitchen and claim your territory. Or maybe you should get out of the house and make some new friends so you aren’t wasting your time worrying about your roommates.
Your song recommendation is: Tired of Being Alone by Al Green.
| Dear Gilly, I have a very early class twice a week with required (*sigh*) attendance. I haven’t gone to the class yet, and I really don’t want to go to it, especially since it’s going to be really awkward when I arrive for the first time and the professor asks who I am. To be frank, I am running out of viable excuses. I started with personal emergency, then graduated to a pet emergency (I do not have a pet). I tried technical difficulties and I said I overslept once, but I fear that the professor is beginning to catch on to my little game. Can you recommend some convincing excuses for missing an early morning class? I don’t want to hurt my attendance record, but at the same time, I just can’t bring myself to go to this class. I would really appreciate any advice you have to offer. Thanks,Sleepless Student-F |
Dear F,
Considering all of the effort you have put into lying to your professor, have you ever considered just dropping the class? If attendance is required you may be destroying your grade anyway. While I have no clue if you have done any of the work for the course, I think it would be best that you commit to an Irish goodbye. This way you will never have to worry about the morning class again.
It’s unfortunate, I know, but there don’t seem to be any other options. Drop it and move on.
Your song recommendation is: Disappointment by The Cranberries.
| I AM HAVING SIGNIFICANT TROUBLE IN MY STUDIES DUE TO INTERPERSONAL ISSUES. TO BE SPECIFIC, PEOPLE SEEM TO THINK THAT I AM BEING AGGRESSIVE IN MY INTERACTIONS WITH THEM WHEN WE ARE WORKING ON DOCS TOGETHER OR EXCHANGING EMAIL. DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR ME? ALSO, UNRELATED, HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK?-N |
Hey N,
I’m not surprised that your classmates are off-put — I am receiving some truly weird vibes from you right now. I don’t think that I am the one to help with your caps lock problem, but that may fix a lot of your perceived aggressiveness. If it’s more than that (and I assume it is) then remember that it’s not like you have to sugarcoat everything. Just try to be friendly: crack a joke, leave a smiley face, say something positive in a Google Doc comment. It will make a huge difference and you might even make some class friends! Maybe try drinking some tea and doing yoga, too — it seems like you need it.
Your song recommendation is: Green Noise For A Quiet Mind (1 Hour) by Green Noise Therapeutics. And please, listen to all of it.
Should I be watching “The Last of Us” or “The Banshees of Inisherin?” I’ve been thinking about it. Let me know.
Really loud, smacking kisses,
Gessica
Giselle Mills, a columnist for The Michigan Daily, writes “Stirring the Pot,” a big-sister, passive aggressive, “bad advice” column, and can be reached at gimills@umich.edu.