Let’s talk about the “gap.” No, not the wage gap that has had everyone in a fuss lately — I’m talking about the orgasm gap. Hooking up has become increasingly popular among people in our generation, but there’s a major disparity in what each gender is getting out of the deal. Casual sex can be great as long as there is consent; however, when the main goal is the Big O and only one side is experiencing it, we have a problem.

Every day, women fight myriad gender biases related to sex: The media portrays them as shrewd — simply tolerant of dicks rather than having real agency — and women who speak openly about enjoying sex are labeled as crude or vulgar, perpetuating the double standard of sluts versus players.

Women are casually hooking up, but losing the game. There’s no such thing as being sexually powerful and independent if you don’t demand to finish. When women are hooking up but not climaxing, the double standard is perpetuated. Women become playthings instead of mutual partners in an agreement for pleasure. How many times have you had your head shoved “down there” or just laid there thinking about that project that’s due Friday? If it seems like women don’t want casual sex, maybe it’s because the kind we’re used to having isn’t cutting it. Why waste time having sex when we can get more pleasure out of a glass of wine and Netflix?

“But I’m a sex god and make every girl I’m with scream” … Yeah, ok. Let me just point you to one of my favorite movies. Watch “When Harry Met Sally.” Actually, you don’t even have to watch the whole film — one pivotal diner scene gets the point across. Women are good at faking it. Plain and simple. We do it to avoid hurting egos, we do it to end a boring session, we do it all the time and we’re damn good at it. But this is not anything new — women reading this column know that. The question is: Why don’t men care enough to change the way they act toward us in bed? Men complain and joke about us being prudes and not ever being “in the mood.” Well, the answer to the problem is clear.

To all the women out there, why don’t we all just pull a Carrie Bradshaw and start having sex like men — making sure we get what we want then leaving them high and dry? Amy Schumer did it in her movie “Trainwreck.” She made a bro move and just pushed his head down there and fell asleep. But the fact of the matter is if women start hooking up like men, it’s just going to begin a vicious cycle of taking without giving. Nobody is ever going to win this battle for the ultimate prize, so why don’t we all just agree that there is a problem and make moves to fix it. The orgasm gap is a fun one to fill and it doesn’t take much effort. So men, think about that next time you casually hop into bed with someone. And ladies, climaxing is not too much to ask for if you’re going to get naked with someone.

Olivia Puente can be reached at opuente@umich.edu. 

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