BY BY EVAN MCGARVEY
Daily Staff Writer
Published January 26, 2006
The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Michael Jones there?
Random: Yeah, this is Mike.
TMD: Great news, you've been selected to do the Random Student Interview in the Michigan Daily, do you have a few minutes?
TMD: First question, how come your phone number isn't 281-330-8004?
R: Ha! It wasn't available in my area code.
TMD: How do you feel about people using AIM speak in normal conversation?
R: I think it's pretty stupid. People are lazy and don't want to say the whole word.
TMD: What are your alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks of choice?
R: Gin and tonic . (silence)
TMD: . and your non-alcoholic?
R: . (extended silence) . Hey, you bitch. I know who this is! . Jamie!
TMD: Uh, Jamie? No. It's Evan, the guy doing the random. But aren't you Mike Jones? Aren't you supposed to be surrounded by everyone else in Swishahouse?
R: Shut your ass up Jamie! You're such a bitch.
TMD: Do white people bore you?
TMD: Is the bird flu the new trendy virus?
R: Yeah, but I'm not scared.
TMD: So you're not scared by any disease? I mean, you did write "Still Tippin'." Mike, are you involved in Greek life at all?
TMD: Okay, so how do you think the Greek life at the University contrasts with the life of Greek people in the real world?
TMD: As a member of the Greek community are you concerned with Cyprus or a better relationship with Turkey and Armenia?
R: Ummmmm .
TMD: Peloponnesian War?
R: Jamie, dude, why are you doing this?
TMD: What's your activity of choice on the weekend?
R: I don't know, just getting drunk .
TMD: . with Slim Thug and Paul Wall?
TMD: What's your major?
TMD: What kind?
R: Don't know yet.
TMD: Who is the president of Mexico?
R: No idea.
R: No idea.
TMD: Prime Minister of England?
R: No idea.
TMD: Wow . Mexico, dude . you know that they share a huge border with us, right?
TMD: Just not interested?
R: Yeah, man.
TMD: So the football team had a rough go of it this year, and Tennessee had a similarly woeful season. Their head coach (Phil Fulmer) sent a letter of apology to all season ticket holders. What if Lloyd Carr offered a back rub to each season ticket holder after every loss?
R: Wow, that'd be pretty sweet.
TMD: What if you had the option of a happy ending?
R: Dude, no!
TMD: What about from Kevin Grady?
TMD: Max Pollock?
R: Dude, no way . well, maybe from Jamie .
TMD: Okay, that's it, look for this tomorrow . WHO?