BY JOSEPH LITMAN
Daily Arts Writer
Published January 9, 2003
The Michigan Daily: Hi, Is this Isaac?
Random: Yeah, who's this?
TMD: Hi Isaac, you've been selected for the Daily's Random Student Interview.
R: That's wonderful.
TMD: Who would win in a fight: Tommy Amaker or Lloyd Carr?
R: I gotta go with Lloyd. I think he's more seizing. Actually, no, Tommy Amaker would win. Didn't Tommy win a national title as a player?
TMD: But Lloyd's won one as a coach. Who knows?
Anyway, what is a better movie: "Harry Potter" or "Lord of the Rings?"
R: I haven't seen "Lord of the Rings," so I'm going with "Harry Potter."
TMD: What do you look for in an ideal girl or guy? The Daily makes no presumption of anyone's sexual orientation.
R: Strong biceps and size.
TMD: What's your favorite book?
R: Total Baseball by Bill James. It's my bible. It's all stuff no fluff.
TMD: Have you ever had a fluffernutter sandwich?
R: Have I? I'm eating one right now.
TMD: Are you going to tonight's basketball game?
R: Yeah, baby. We're 7-6
TMD: Is Daniel Horton not much improved since the first six games?
R: I went to the game against Central Michigan and almost put a bag over my head.
TMD: What is a fillip?
R: A what? It's a screwdriver or a 61-year-old man I call "dad."
TMD: Actually, a fillip is the term for when one holds back his middle finger with his thumb and then lets it go, flicking someone. The definition of pusillanimous is?
R: Um, I know this one. Uh ... alright, I'm stumped.
TMD: I believe it's to be cowardly. Does that ring any bells?
R: Ring any bells? Was it in Harry Potter or Total Baseball?
TMD: Have you ever seen two animals copulating on one of those nature programs? If so, which were your favorites?
R: Yes, I liked watching snails. It's incredible; they have their sex organs in their neck and they impregnate and get pregnant at the same time.
It's like being in the middle part of a train.
TMD: That's definitely going in the paper. Have you ever smoked drugs?
TMD: Have you ever been strung out on the pot?
TMD: What's the weirdest thing that you did while on the pot?
R: I once ate Chinese food for three straight days, but weed doesn't affect me much.
TMD: Have you ever been drunk?
R: I am right now. I'm drinking Miller Lite out of a can.
TMD: What's your favorite beer?
R: I love all beer equally except for Red Dog, Miller High Life and Coors Extra Gold.
TMD: Do you have a girlfriend?
TMD: How long have you been dating?
R: About six months.
TMD: What's the nicest thing that you ever did for her?
R: I made her a three course meal and did all the dishes.
TMD: Have you ever heard of Tunji Awajobi?
R: No, I have no idea what that is.
TMD: Wager a guess as to who/ what that is.
R: Is it the Ojibwa teacher here?
TMD: No, Tunji used to play basketball at Boston University.
Can you break dance?
R: I'm afraid not.
I've always thought of taking classes, but I think that if you're Jewish you have to start at the age of four to ever pick it up.
TMD: Are you proud of being Jewish?
TMD: When? Hanukkah?
TMD: What's the better expression: "Word Life" or "Holla Back"?
R: Holla back, no question. I've just got a thing for double-l words that end in "a."
Like "hella," "holla" ... hula spelled incorrectly, you know.
TMD: What's your favorite type of music?
R: Do soundtracks count? Those then.
TMD: What is your favorite soundtrack?
TMD: Favorite song on "Aladdin?"
R: Everybody's favorite, "A Whole New World."
Although, I do like that riff-raff, street rat refrain. I believe it's number five. [Singing] Riff raff ... street rat ...
TMD: If you could make out with one celebrity, who would it be and why?
R: That's a tough one. I'm gonna go with Jesus.
TMD: What's the reason for that choice?
R: He looks like a really good cuddler.
TMD: What would your girlfriend say?
R: She'd be happy. She's Catholic.
TMD: Would you be on "Joe Millionaire?"
R: Yeah, probably. As a girl or a guy? Yeah, I'd be on it.
TMD: What's the difference between disorganized and unorganized?
R: Uh, disorganized is like a state and unorganized is an adjective.
TMD: Couldn't you say "He's disorganized"?
R: Yeah, I guess. What is the difference?
TMD: I don't know. I've always wondered. That's why I asked.
R: There is none.
TMD: When was the last time you engaged in tomfoolery?
R: Two nights ago. I was playing poker until the wee hours.
TMD: Did you win?
R: Yes, I always win. I won about $30. A friend of mine lost pretty early on, but he always loses early.
TMD: Nice. Anyway, that's it. Thanks for your time. Bye.