Point-Counterpoint: Daily writers face off over sex and relationships

BY CC SONG
Evan McGarvey
Published February 10, 2005

SHE SAYS - Cracking the female code

Beth Dykstra
(ALI OLSEN/Daily)
Beth Dykstra
(ALI OLSEN/Daily)
Beth Dykstra
(ALI OLSEN/Daily)

By CC Song, For the Daily

Hey guys,

So you’ve spent tons of money on the perfect Valentine’s Day presents that she’s wanted, and you’ve been extraordinarily nice to her the whole night. You took her to the Chop House. You held her hand on the way from the parking lot to the restaurant because the weather in Michigan is just unbearably cold. You’ve been a real gentleman, and by the nonstop, lovely smile on her face, you know you’ve done a good job to please her.

Now you’re back in your place with her, with pink champagne on ice and soft, dimmed lights. You want to end this perfect day with some intimacy. All right, you might say, “Hey, I did not do all that just to lure her to my bed” and stop reading this article, thinking that you’re better than 20,000 guys on campus who might be taking down notes.

But just in case if you want to end your day with some intimacy, here’s a little help to get you started.

Most of us females do think about sex and fantasize about it, so unless your honey tells you that she wouldn't let you touch her before you get married, you shouldn’t be worried about whether she will slap you when you place your hands in between her thighs. In fact, most of us would like it better if guys would talk about sex and initiate it. Sometimes girls like foreplay, and sometimes they don’t. But since girls are born (or taught) to be more romantic than guys, some good foreplay would enhance the sex.

So what’s good for foreplay? Most girls come up with this answer: a good massage. No elbows, no knees, no walking on her back and cracking her bones; a girl just want a nice, light massage that relieves her tension. We are also smart enough to pick up the hint that you might want something more from the massage.

So how do you figure out her innermost fantasies? Talk about it. I’m sure your friends have told you that even though girls might act like prudes, most of them really don’t reject the idea of sharing fantasies.

Girls sometimes would like talking about fantasies to let you know what they want. Don’t gag and laugh at her when she tells you. You should be glad that she’s open enough to share her secrets with you, and you should follow up and let her know what your sexual desires are. You like to be dominant all the time and she might want to have the same level of power during sex, so this is a good chance to reach a compromise. She likes it plain but you love to switch to different styles to show how good you are. Again, figure out what you both want through the conversation. Maybe you’ll find out both of you like the excitement of getting caught — some girls do like that, but they like it when people they don’t know catch them.

So I’ve given you tips on what you can do, now here’s what you should always avoid doing. Don't jump right into the physical act — all the girls I’ve talked to agree on that.

Girls are way more romantic than guys can imagine, and as innocent as we are, we would like to believe that you’re not a sexual beast. Avoid the clich