News in Entertainment

Published February 5, 2004

Diddy pays driver $3 million settlement with money found in
couch cushion

According to E!Online, Sean “P. Diddy” Combs has
recently settled a lawsuit with former chauffeur Wardell "Woody"
Fenderson, the getaway driver from Diddy’s now infamous 1999
nightclub shooting. Fenderson claimed emotional damage and
post-traumatic stress syndrome after the incident.

Diddy, along with his bodyguard and then girlfriend J-Lo,
reportedly forced Fenderson to drive over the speed limit and told
him “don’t stop for anybody.” Then Fenderson was
offered $50,000 and a ridiculously bling-bling pinky ring to claim
possession of the handgun in question. Janet Jackson’s right
boob could not be reached for comment.

Blake claims Brando’s son did it. We wish we were
making this up.

In a recent pretrial hearing, the defense for the
“Beretta” star dropped their trump card. According to
E!Online, Blake claimed Marlon Brando’s son Christian was
behind the shooting of Bonnie Lee Bakely. The judge threw that out
on the credibility of the main witness, Brando’s girlfriend.
The defense then accused local thug Kevin London of the murder. If
that claim is rejected, Blake plans on fingering Professor Plum in
the library with the revolver.

Marlon Brando, still living on his private island in the
Pacific, could not be reached for comment. He has, however,
requested to know when his shipment of Big Macs is getting
there.