Monday, April 22, 2019 - 5:16pm
Sony Pictures Classics

We recognize beginnings borne of endings borne of beginnings, the memories esoteric only because the memories are slightly foggy.

Monday, March 25, 2019 - 3:59pm
.

For now I’ll cherish my schmear because the terrifying hypothetical consequences of its absentia from life should probably be left unspeculative.

Monday, March 11, 2019 - 5:07pm
.

Some friends of mine recently introduced me to Letterboxd, and immediately I was hooked. Letterboxd is a social media service that allows users to track films they’ve watched, write their thoughts about said films and even see peers’ movie-watching activity. It’s the reason I can feel inadequate about my review of “Mary Poppins Returns” (“meant to watch Nanny McPhee”) as I monitor friends’ much sharper critiques.

Monday, February 18, 2019 - 5:08pm
.

Joy — that’s what brought everyone to Salzburg. The Sound of Music should be everything I hate in a movie — it’s next-level sappy and cliché — but it’s about good guys beating bad guys, family, love and figuring out what brings you joy.

Monday, February 4, 2019 - 5:04pm
.

My birthday was on Feb. 1st and if the first 22 years of my life were any indication, this is a mostly awful date for anything celebratory. Growing up, my only birthday tradition was a long-distance phone call with each set of grandparents as they sipped on palomas in Mexico, having escaped the miserable Chicago cold that had so brutally forced everyone else inside.

Monday, January 21, 2019 - 1:54pm
.

I think I was in third grade when my mom received a call from the mother of one of my friends. This particular mom sounded nervous. “Do you think there’s any chance Joey might have, um, introduced Nick to ‘YouTube’?” 

“Well, that was certainly possible,” my mom replied. “Joey laughed a lot at those online videos, after all, and had even showed his sister some of his favorites. No issues there.”

Sunday, December 2, 2018 - 3:55pm
Joey Schuman

We don’t know much about anything at this stage of existence, so taking unfamiliar risks only makes sense.

Sunday, November 18, 2018 - 8:35pm
.

Nursing a hangover when you’re not a super young person feels like eating soup with a fork, except the soup is definitely of a Matzah Ball variety, injecting its rocket-high salt content into the frayed and dehydrated shell of human that’s somehow still in there somewhere.

Monday, November 5, 2018 - 5:41pm
Joey Schuman

Internet therapy is free.

Monday, October 22, 2018 - 5:25pm
Joey Schuman

It’s something I do often, and it’s something I think you should do too: listen to your mom’s music every once in a while.