This morning I googled the following:
Cuffing season duration
Timothée Chalamet Jewish
When is retrograde over
Can you die from lack of attention
It turns out that cuffing season is until March, Timmy isJewish, Mercury is technically out of retrograde but its effects will linger until Saturday and no, you can’t die from a lack of attention. I think our morning Googlings say a lot about us. For your reading pleasure, dear reader, here are some recent Googlings from yours truly.
Nick Jonas nipples
Larry David young
Bernie Sanders young
Dog swimming
Dog with human teeth
Dog with human eyes
Dog with human nose
Human with dog nose
How to ask your crush out
How to ask your crush out in a way that’s cool and chill and not weird
How to ask your crush out in a way that’s cool and chill and not weird and also not awkward
How to buy vibrator on parents credit card without them knowing
How to pronounce appreciate
How British pronounce appreciate
Prince Charles young
Charles and Camilla
Charles and Diana
Diana and Dodi Al-Fayed
Was Lady Di murdered by the queen
Stop biting nails
Song that goes duhduh duh duh duhduh
Jobs Chicago
Jobs New York
Jobs Los Angeles
Jobs anywhere
What do I do after graduation
How to poach an egg
How to write a comedy column
Why is Michigan a basketball school
How to make turtlenecks look cool for four days
Is it safe to drink an open bottle of vodka you found on the street
Am I dehydrated or do I need more coffee
How much coffee is too much coffee
Can you die from too much coffee
How often should you wash your sheets
No but really, can you die from lack of attention
Is loch ness monster real
Do my roommates hate me
Difference between oral gonorrhea and strep throat
JonBenét Ramsey still alive
What is Tik Tok
How to become famous on Tik Tok
What is an e-boy
What is a VSCO girl
Hydro Flask Amazon
I called my therapist a week ago and she still hasn’t called me back
Does my therapist hate me
Did my therapist move
Did my therapist lose my phone number
Did my therapist change her phone number
Did my therapist die in a car accident
Did my therapist murder her husband and run away with her lover to Brazil where they could start a new life together
Is my therapist ghosting me