This week, you’ll be saving Latin (whatever Latin means to you), dressing sharply and staging dramatic scenes — probably without the special effects, though. Obviously this is how you see yourself every week, but this week, so will everyone else. Walk with purpose and ruminate on jewel tones, about which you definitely have strong opinions.

This week, watch “Rushmore.


Love is in the air this week. Indulge in it how you choose. Whether that’s a road trip with your buddy to find and avenge an enemy or a journey to swing at North Campus and pretend it’s summer despite the unrelenting snowstorms, you’ll be spontaneously feeling connected. It’s worth thinking about to whom — or what — you are connecting. Mindfulness is key.

This week, watch “Bottle Rocket.”


You know that calling your family this week is a good idea, but instead you should write a postcard. Or better, a letter. Or better, a letter with drawings and, if you have them, stickers. Treat it like an art project and when you inevitably shop for stamps (since no one just has stamps on hand) choose something that you normally wouldn’t. Use more stamps than necessary for postage. Who knows if the post office will get mad? You certainly won’t.

This week, read Michael Chabon’s essay regarding Wes Anderson’s work.


Have a party with only four guests themed with the color palette from The Darjeeling Limited. Debate, internally and externally, if Adrien Brody is hot. Then, take time to reflect. Life sparkles for you Cancer, and this week is filled with the sparkling. Echo asceticism and prevent yourself from falling into a trap of vanity because of it all. Wear a necklace of flowers, or at least put some on your nightstand. Ensure the height of your nightstand is below the height of your bed. 

This week, watch “The Darjeeling Limited.”


You should be considering your finances this week, because it is stellar for long-term planning. Use your energy from our Virgo full moon last week to envision and realize your future. As you do so, balance yourself out (not with nostalgia, but with appreciation) by remembering your childhood. How far you’ve come. How far you actually haven’t. Do you have any collections? You probably should. Stones are nice, healing crystals are fake, maybe you could collect coffee beans or pamphlets. Or maybe you could make your own. How long does it take to make a stone?

This week, watch “Moonrise Kingdom.”


This week is all about your closest relationships. Use clarity to understand what your needs and wants are. Dress in sunny tones, in whatever makes you feel happiest and most complete. If your phone rings and a mysterious suitor asks for your time, give it. Capture your radiance following the Virgo full moon. Shoplift an essential oil. Just kidding, you’re still a Virgo. Purchase an essential oil.

This week, watch “Hotel Chevalier.”


Sometimes, secrets are yours to keep. Even if the information could make you look better, breaking the confidence of a friend, colleague or ally is simply not worth it for your reputation. In keeping this secret, you will ultimately be rewarded. Your intuition will not lead you astray. Browse an antique shop or yard sale for a vintage ashtray. Use it to hold your keys at the end of a long day so you can come home and toss your keys into a beautiful bowl like someone who cares about order and organization.

This week, watch “The Grand Budapest Hotel.”


Amid the rush following spring break, you will feel the realization that time with friends at school is dripping away. Take time to do something with the friends you care about. But not just a typical gathering, pregame or evening at Ann Arbor’s finest establishments. Rather, take time to plan a game night where you create the game to be played. As a Scorpio, everyone probably already feels like it’s a game just by being around you. Capitalize on this for a night of intrigue.

This week, watch the Saturday Night Live sketch about “The Midnight Coterie of Sinister Intruders.”


Do you have insurance? Obviously not, we’re in college and insurance, much like mortgages, highway route closures and fiber arts, are the talk of an older generation. Nevertheless, you should probably have insurance. Water damage is in the stars, though it is unclear the extent or nature of said damage. It could be as simple as a leaky roof, dropping your phone in the sink or tripping in a puddle. Or something more sinister.

This week, watch “The Fantastic Mr. Fox.”


You love your material possessions, your career success, your external benchmarks. This week is perfect for accruing more of these. Display them humbly, even though your pride will shine through. If you have great success, that is if your birth falls within 5 days of January 13, these accomplishments will be shared with your friends, or as you refer to them mentally, your proteges.

This week, watch “The Life Aquatic.”


Before Mercury’s next retrograde, do all of your negotiating and gambling. If you’re applying for a job, do it this week. If you’re handling important tax documents, do it this week. If you’ve been thinking about your grandma and how she always bought you scratch-off lottery tickets on holidays, and one time you won five dollars, and you wonder if maybe you could recreate that for yourself, do it this week. If you’ve been debating getting a frequent visitor card at your local coffee shop, do it this week. Someone once said your wallet should reflect your neighborhood. Does it?

This week, take a gamble on the future and watch the trailer for “Isle of Dogs.”


Deep in the throes of Pisces season, you’ll find yourself at your peak. Put on an Elliott Smith record, paint your nails even if it’s a clear coat, breathe deeply and create your own world. Whether that means setting up a small tent and filling it with tea lights despite the fire hazard, or simply ordering a whole milk latte rather than skim. Skip the elevator, take the stairs this week.

This week, watch “The Royal Tenenbaums.”

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