Design by Leah Hoogterp

The writers of The Michigan Daily do it all. On top of being college students with full course loads, they roll up their sleeves to consume media and write. For the entertainment of our loyal readership, The Michigan Daily has revitalized and revamped “Baked, Buzzed, Bored.” For the sake of journalism, three or more writers sacrifice their health and 3+ hours of their life to watch a TV show or film while either high (“baked”), drunk (“buzzed”) or sober (“bored”). This article was lightly edited to maintain the authenticity of the piece.


I really hope this movie has elton john music in it. I like Elton John right now

I hope that the fish is named chum and he is voiced by Chumlee from Pawn Stars

Megamind blue all the people at the school!

This movie had a more succinct origin than any other marvel movie


Damn metro man has a codpiece tho 

Metro man and Megamind talking is like in The Batman when Robert Pattinson kept talking about justice

This movie has a soundtrack that screams my father. 

I have just been told what coochie eyes are. Please educate yourselves. 

He’s got little jammies. Goddamnit

Why does Megamind need a hairnet? This movie is so mean to bald people 

Megamind is very sad. This has made me sad.

Someone said Mega is dainty. I like that phrase!!

This movie makes villains out of gamers. Titan is a gamer and that is perfectly ok!

Is metro man actually metrosexual man?

Buzzed 1 has risen above their state to sing along to “Welcome to the Jungle” 

I think Jim Carrey should’ve been him (Metro Man)

DAVID CROSS HAS DIED. I am so sad. How could they do this?


Buzzed 1 is making us watch Snotty Boy Glow-up as a precursor

He’s in gay baby jail


Metroman has MOVES

market pliers

Buzzed 2 has this movie memorized and keeps finishing the lines with uncanny ability

Her belittling him is kinda hot 

there’s like three-way tension between roxanne minion and megamind already

Metroman’s overacting is so good here

Die Hal die 

It’s amazing he still has a cape in pajamaz

Bernard can get it

why does he need a hairnet

Megamind is his fucking dom


Malewife Minion

Wheb will my wefwection show who i am inside

Everything Hal says is so well-designed to piss me the fuck off

Megamind’s Daddy material

Hal listens to Juice WRLD and xxxtentacion


Hal is why gamers oppressed

NO BITCHES????????

City parking is the real villain




You’re white


we are n


Something about Megamind is so indecipherably subversive. I find myself laughing at the idea of watching this film, but that feeling quickly turns to dust when the title card flashes. Never has a film so comprehensively deconstructed the hubris of man and tied it up in a gorgeously succinct blue-tinted, big-headed ribbon.

If someone could let me know where Metroman gets his chin implants I’d be very interested to know.

Just learned that JK Simmons plays the Warden. This is more like “Whiplash” than I ever imagined it could be — the toxic, yet inescapable mentor-student relationship. Except the craft is doing crime, not playing the drums. And Megamind wins.

Thinking about the “I blue myself” joke from Arrested Development. Fits perfectly given that David Cross is the minion and Megamind is … blue.

Megamind and Minion saw Roxanne and said “we’ve been watching you from across the room and really dig your vibe. Want to be our third?”

Two beers plus one shot down. Somewhere between crafting prose and absolute beer mode.

This has the best writing I’ve ever seen in a kid’s movie … some would argue it’s not even a kid’s movie. 

Jonah Hill got cast as the ‘ugly inside-and-out’ guy who they MODELED after his physical appearance and he just went with it.

I want to sink my teeth into one of those gold bars. 

No one out-pizzas the hut.

Roxanne is so twee.

Best Marlon Brando tribute I’ve ever seen.

Mr. Blue Sky? More like Mr. Poop Sky.

Megamind kind of looks like Neil Patrick Harris?

Megamind has a soul patch, anything he says is out the window. 

Shoutout to all Mormons.

No one has farted yet.

No one has farted.

Megamind is the only blue life that matters.


You guys I’m so excited for this right now you have no idea

Baked 1 goes “wait is this the guy from Elf?”

Baby Metroman was the blueprint for Boss Baby tell me I’m wrong

[baby burbles]

Also this soundtrack is full of bops

I could honestly quote this entire movie word for word

“His heart is an ocean that’s inside a bigger ocean” is my mom’s favorite line

If my name was Roxanne and somebody called me Roxaroo I would vomit.


The spee-ider.

I’ve been quoting on and off this whole time and no one’s told me to stop yet

Potato tomato potato tomato

Baked 1 has never seen this movie before and I’m so excited to see them react to the plot twist coming up

This movie was truly unappreciated in its time

Tippy tappy tippy tap tap tip top more


no you can’t

Vote Blue

Somebody said that Roxanne’s a simp for Metroman, but if anybody’s a simp it’s Hal

The sexual tension in this elevator rn…

How much did they have to pay for that Karate Kid reference

Just realized the graffiti outside Megamind’s hideout says “go away no one lives here” and that made me giggle


Buzzed 1 just goes “oh my god…it’s snotty boy glow up”

Yeah. I’m like your space dad.

Here comes the knock off Mr Blue Sky 

Can’t wait, LOL, smiley face.

Everyone is now arguing over whether or not this is in fact the real Mr Blue Sky (it is NOT)

Bored 3 is currently trying to explain to me what the Omegaverse is and something is telling me I’m glad I didn’t know this existed

What a brutal rejection. 

Baked 2 is moaning and whispering “he needs love”

Watching him kick his little robot feet in the water while he waits. What a bean.

This one’s for Space Stepmom! You LIED to her!!!

The scene from the “no bitches” meme just happened and everyone cheered

Is Metroman’s monologue not an exact copy of the scene at the end of Over the Hedge

Now I wanna do a BBB of Over the Hedge

I just asked everyone if they wanted to do an Over the Hedge BBB and they all cheered


Hal just did the Kubrick stare


Megamind wasn’t joking when he said “PRESENTATION”

Everyone’s singing In the Heights rn

How did they actually make Megamind kinda look like Obama in those “no you can’t” posters


Megamind just broke the fourth wall

Mid credits scene??? Megamind in the MCU?!?!?!


That (black hole) looks like a trombone a little

He’s in the CAN!

Why does the teacher have the hots for Metro Man

He looks like when you give a Sim blue skin

Megamind and the fish are definitely lovers

*Statue is unveiled* Aw, just like the David

It’s his dead body, actually I don’t know… OH!

He just single handedly defunded the police

Has he never seen a WINDOW?

Would he run as a democrat or a republican?

This is just like when Bucky goes into the war museum and sees the Howling Commandos

And she’s not an investigative journalist? Julian needs to hire her right now

Daddy’s sorry for what?


Not the jorts! Not the jorts!

You think I don’t listen to “Mr Blue Sky” three times a day and know exactly what it sounds like?

I’m sorry this looks like a scene out of Bee Movie

MILF but it’s Megamind I’d Like to Fuck

Yo Bernard’s jawline goes crazy

He got BALLED!

Do you guys think Megamind is immortal

*All chanting in unison* THERE IS NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND!

She’s the kind of girl that would be like “Babe, look at me, this isn’t you” if Megamind got in a fight 

*Minion dying* Mr. Stark… I don’t feel so good


Will Ferrell is megamind what the fuck how did I not know this

Metro man is kind of an asshole as a baby

Minion is an A-1 day 1

Have Megamind and Minion explored each others bodies

Metro City being pronounced like atrocity is like testicles being pronounced like Hercules

Rest in piss Metroman bozo

We’ve got a bottle blowing symphony in the buzzed section

If I dont have “evil overlord” on my nameplate, I’m going to do something to deserve it

Tightan is a gamer I hate this

Tightan did the Kubrick stare!

The movie ended in a giant dance party I can die happy 10/10 better than the Godfather

This movie said there was no Queen of England before she died ahead of its time

Was it the real Mr. Blue Sky? The world may never know.


Initial thoughts: I am afraid someone will find megaman sexy throughout the film

The prisoners raising megamind is kind of cute what the hell.

Megamind said “shool” and everyone immediately copied him like parakeets and i heard about 5 “shool”s… Life is amazing

Guys this is the Markiplier backstory by the way

Btw the coochie eyes on this guy (megamind) are insane

Buzzed 2 knows this entire movie by heart i owe them my life

Cheering for David Cross for the millionth time

I know this lady is hiding a big ass forehead under there

Metro man megamind enemies to lovers only one bed fanfic ao3 50k words WHEN? 

I cant tell but megamind is giving major under 5’8 energy and i love short kings

My coochie eyes comment has received backlash but it’s okay i explained and everyone gets it now

Seeing Bernard is crazy because i remember this one day on twitter maybe a year ago where everyone on my timeline wanted him carnally

There is a fart brewing in that bed rn

Minion as a mother can be somethign that can be so personal

I have explained the omegaverse to Buzzed 2 and  Suddenly i don’t feel sober

Overheard “Hal definitely listens to juice WRLD”

Megamind’s giant robot is so dainty and feminine

I think megamind could make an amazing animated crossed arms Youtuber persona if that makes sense

Megamind’s dainty hands

We need to take Tina Fey out like Old Yeller

There is no Queen of England

Everyone is singing hamilton (i think) I AM TRYING TO WATCH DAVID CROSS DIE

yeah, he has a good like like like there I hate pronouns babe please give me a call

Final thoughts: this movie gets better every time i watch it thank you Michigan daily for the opportunity