Baked:

Part 1

“The bathrooms down at the end of the hall,” I feel like this means something intense. Also s/o to Ms. Robinson for fucking inventing the term MILF. MRS ROBINSON YOU’RE TRYING TO SEDUCE ME. Every god damn line in this movie is beautiful. On a side note why do they make this pathetic dude out to be a track star newspaper editor straight A student I’m not feeling like this man is all those things.

Part 2

Ben, you’ll never be young again. The one-liners in this film are changing. Every damn line has a profound effect on the total course of my life. I’m just worried about my future. Buzzed wonders how the filmmakers made this underwater diver scene and now I’m questioning how they make any scene. Or anything. Ha. Hoffman just walked into the hotel for an affair and it’s similarly life changing. Mrs. Robinson is the kind of forward woman I need in my life. That would definitely be life changing. Oh my god who is this woman and does she actually exist. I need to date older women. Not older like “oh she’s like 21” older like “she’s married with two kids.” Wait that sounds a little Freudian shit that was bad.

Part 3

The soundtrack in this film is life changing. The Sound of Silence should have won the Grammy this year, Fuck You Taylor Swift. Fuck. You. Buzzed just got sentimental: “Man Fuck people.” Do you want to tell me about some of your college experiences? What are my college experiences. I’m also craving a time where “can’t we just have a conversation” has to be a question.

Part 4

I wonder if the same situation played out in 2016 if it would play out the same. Are we at a point in society where we can accept a man having a casual relationship with his girlfriend’s mother, have we finally gotten to that point America? God. We need Bernie at a time like this. Which brings me to the point that Bored pointed out — he could have been an extra in this. The man was as young and able in 1967 as he is in 2016. Wow.

Part 5

The vibe of the landlord in Berkeley is great. He’s probably the most stable character in this movie, which must stand for something. And now Kate Moss just comes in and screams her head off in the most terrifying shot I’ve seen in years. She sounds like she’s dying but she really is just upset at something so small and insignificant as Dustin Hoffman having an affair with her 45+ year old mother. That’s such a big deal. Children are starving in Africa dammit. And now Hoffman wants to marry this poor girl. The emotional strain must be a lot, so I apologize to Kate. But now she’s agreed to marry him so I guess that means it’s probably not that bad.

Part 6

This may be entirely unrelated to this movie, but every time I see this movie I want to move somewhere west of Texas. That just seems like an entirely different style of living, an entirely new atmosphere of life. Imagine waking up in Denver, Colorado. How would who I am and what I stand for change. Coming for you, Denver.

Part 7

The movie’s over: (add spoiler here). The Sound of Silence again coming in and changing my existence. And that last shot is so perfectly done that I think I am yet again: changed. Buzzed says it’s about the banality of life and that alters the world for about the 20th time this evening. But it’s ok. After this I can get some food.

-Daily Arts Writer

Buzzed:

This is the third night in a row I’ve gotten drunk, and it’s the weekend before midterm week. My jewish parents are rolling in their graves, but they’re still alive. Is it bad for to get crossfaded for these? I hope not. This movie is absolutely amazing. That intro sequence though. I’m really feeling the existential ennui right now. Mrs. Robinson is such a babe. We just looked it up, and this movie made SO much fucking money. Dustin Hoffman is so fucking perfectly awkward. How’d you even do this? God, four loko qSA A bad choice. The single fame boob gets me every time, so funny, “Oh jesus Christ.” I really want to stop drinking this four loko. Anne Bancroft is like a soulless husk. She reminds me of my exes badum chhhhhhhh

Whoops I just told Danny what’s going on in my personal life. That’s okay, that guy’s alright. RUSHMORE (that was the devin faraci style, fucking deal with it EDITORS) totally ripped this part in the pool off. I want to work for Vulture if you’re reading this, fucking give me an internship you motherfuckers. Fyck  you. This movie is just like, human beings are disgusting. I’m embarrassed at how drunk I am. Good thing we’re all going to die and life has no point, the central thesis of this movie and my life.

-Daily Arts Writer

Bored:

Here is a just a stream of thought: The beginning of this film is so brilliant – it’s not really iconic as it is unnerving in a really friendly way. Like, everyone is being so nice to him but it’s terrifying. I never want to grow up.

This plastics line works so well.

I see so much of myself in Dustin Hoffman, except the whole older-woman-seductress-attraction part, but I guess it’s something to aspire to.

The Robinsons’ mini-bar has a little orb that says “BAR” on it, like I didn’t know it was a bar. Come on!

This song that Mrs. Robinson plays is HOT.

“Did you know I was an alcoholic?” *Gasp* “What?”

The iconic scene “are you trying to seduce me” is the PERFECT scene for 1967. Braddock comes to the conclusion that Mrs. Robinson is trying to seduce him, she says she’s not, but of course she is. Mike Nichols must have been slapped down a ton between “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” and “The Graduate,” with studio folks telling him that he’s ruining film but NO he was transforming it.

Ben Braddock’s reactions to Mrs. Robinson in the whole initial interaction are priceless. He’s got such a command on whimpers and little cries, it’s fantastic.

10 years before Darth Vader, we had Benjamin Braddock. His breathing during the scuba scene is wonderful. It’s like he’s really heavily sighing with disdain at how dumb this gift is.

“Are you here for an affair, sir?” “Huh?” “The Singleman party?” “Ah yes”

Benjamin Braddock has got to be a stand-in for baby-boomers and just discovering how messed up life is with his discovering how disastrous the Robinson family is—Mr. and Mrs. Robinson don’t sleep together, they got married because she got pregnant, she got a degree in art but lost her interest, and, of course, the whole Elaine plotline.

What happened to Katharine Ross? She’s really great in this movie, and she was in like two other movies.

Fun fact: Katharine Ross is married to SAM ELLIOTT.

I wish I were married to Sam Elliott. Seems like such a cool dude.

Oh, they’re making out, but she was just crying.

Do you think Bernie Sanders is an extra in this movie?

This is not Berkeley. This is USC. Choose a less iconic building.

Richard Dreyfuss! I love Richard Dreyfuss.

Elaine making moves!

Part of me is doubtful that a person like Dustin Hoffman could ever pull this all off and then part of me feels ashamed that I would ever doubt Dustin Hoffman.

I love Dustin Hoffman.

This montage of Benjamin trying to find where the wedding will take place is so great, fueled by that great Mrs. Robinson soundtrack.

And of course, THIS FINAL SCENE IS GLORIOUS. In the words of Baked, this is such a hippie movie. They’re just flipping off authority and society. But of course, it ends with sadness. Oh well, we all die.

– Daniel Hensel

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