Statement Issue Archive
September 10, 2008
Printing what you preach
- Chanel Von Habsburg-Lothringen
BY MIKE DOLSEN
College students are leading the vanguard in embracing an eco-friendly lifestyle. But the University’s paper dependency is
as old as academia itself.
About Campus: Those who drink will be champions
- Laura Garavoglia
BY ANNE VANDERMEY
Bo Schembechler is probably the most storied coach in college football history. You’ve heard about his inspirational one-liners, his compassionate nature, his incredible winning streaks and his fiery sideline personality.
But you haven’t heard about his affection for barrel aged wine — or poetry.
Your financial future
BY JESSICA VOSGERCHIAN
So you don’t have a clue what you’re going to do after college. That’s not as much as a problem as not knowing how to finance it. Have you even heard of a Roth IRA? Kathryn Greiner, director of credit education at the University of Michigan Credit Union, gives a primer on your future finances.
HEALTH INSURANCE
Personal Statement: Young, female and afraid
BY JESSICA VOSGERCHIAN
But I was covered from head to toe in a long winter coat. I had my backpack on.
Walking home from the library one night last winter, I wasn’t drunk, wasn’t showing skin — what did those men want with me?
It doesn’t matter what a woman wears or doesn’t wear — she’s never inviting sexual harassment or assault. But for the two creeps I met on Hill Street it didn’t matter what I wore because my gender alone was reason enough to target me.
September 3, 2008
Why the hell I moved to Michigan
BY ANDREW BOGAARD
If you had seen me driving home to California last week, swerving slightly on the Iowa highway through teary-eyed convulsions, you would have told me to get off the road and pull it together. I left Michigan. And sunny California at the end of my journey seemed a bleak prospect in comparison.
“Why the hell did you move here?” is something I heard up until the week I left.
Now, hindsight setting in, I can answer the question. Michigan is a secret. And in California, its reputation is unfair.
Return of the Mason Hall bathroom confessional
Last year, The Statement wrote about a stall in the women’s bathroom nearest the Fishbowl. This stall wasn’t just a toilet behind a door—for devoted following of students, it was an anonymous confessional. Hundreds of personal secrets covered the wall, accompanied with the most heartfelt, compassionate responses ever seen in bathroom graffiti. Then at the end of last semester, the University painted over it. But less than a week into the new school year, the bathroom confessional is back.
Progressive Ann Arbor's timid immigration policy
- Photo Illustration by CHANEL VON HABSBURG-LOTHRINGEN AND JENNIFER KRON/Daily
BY JESSICA VOSGERCHIAN
In a break from Ann Arbor’s progressive reputation, the city’s policies trail timidly behind the vanguard in advocating immigration law reform. And with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement cracking down, undocumented immigrants in Washtenaw County are starting to feel it.
Luther Buchele: 1920-2008
BY JULIE ROWE
Luther Buchele, the first general manager of the Inter-Cooperative Council, and hence the grandfather of Ann Arbor’s eclectic co-op system, died in a car accident Aug. 1. He was 88.
BUSTED: Breaking up Welcome Week with the AAPD party patrol
- ILLUSTRATION BY ALLISON GHAMAN/Daily
BY SARA LYNNE THELEN
One Daily reporter rode along with an Ann Arbor police officer during the police department's "party patrol," an effort to crack down on rowdy welcome week parties.
Officers say Welcome Week without party patrol would mean an increase in everything from broken glass to alcohol poisoning.
"All we're trying to do is contain it, keep it down to a manageable level," AAPD officer Brad Rougeau said. "We're not going to stop it, we know that. We have no illusions of grandeur."
March 26, 2008
Facebook Analytics:
How University of Michigan profiles square up against Harvard, Columbia and Yale
Students of the year
- Brian Merlos
The 10 activists, athletes, leaders and organizers who have left their mark on campus this year
The editor's notebook with Gabe Nelson
Nuclear bloopers
The Department of Defense acknowledged yesterday that it accidentally mixed up two packages of military supplies and as a result sent several fuses for nuclear missiles to Taiwan by mistake. It took them a year and a half to figure out where the fuses went, but we're talking about a bureaucracy with a half-trillion-dollar budget, so it's easy to understand why these little goofs happen once in a while. Next week, Defense Department officials will realize that the thousands of troops in Iraq were supposed to have invaded Saudi Arabia. Oops.
new rules
rule 92: You can only sexile your roommates if they have someplace to go. rule 93: If you're not going to cross the picket line, you have to understand why you shouldn't. rule 94: Your tiny apartment's living room isn't a great place for a bump-n-grind dance party. Turn off Soulja Boy, turn on the lights and try talking for once.
- E-mail rule submissions to TheStatement@umich.edu
Talking Points
- Phillip Kurdunowicz
Three things you can talk about this week:
1. The Pope's "new Crusade" against Islam
2. Passport breaches at the State Department
3. The GEO strike
And three things you can't:
1. Obama's pastor
2. Subletting
3. Missing class for the GEO strike
Quotes of the Week
"After being nailed to the cross, I feel so refreshed, like all my sins are washed away."
- Fernando Mamangon, a 37-year-old man from the Philippines, on being crucified as part of a controversial annual tradition in the country. He said he hopes his participation will help cure his ailing son.
"My one concession to American sensibilities was to remove my nail polish."
By the Numbers
11.7 million
Number of cosmetic procedures performed in the U.S. in 2007. Liposuction was the most popular procedure.
13.2 million
Approximate cost, in dollars, of the procedures.
114
Percent increase in surgical cosmetic procedures performed since 1997.
Source: The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery
March 19, 2008
The Editor's Notebook with Gabe Nelson
BY GABE NELSON
A look at the big news events this week and how important they really are. Conveniently rated from one to 10.
New Rules
rule 90: If you hit it off with someone at a party, but afterwards can't remember what you said, don't call for a date.
rule 91: If studying in the UGLi by yourself, don't snag one of the nice group tables. You know which tables. Fourth floor, in the window nooks. Back off.
- E-mail rule submissions to TheStatement@umich.edu
Junk Drawer
- Clif Reeder
Talking points
Three things you can talk about this week:
1. The anger of Tibetan monks
2. Hidden graves at the Manson compound
3. Women-only hours at Harvard gymnasiums
And three things you can't:
1. Spring
2. Pennsylvania's primary
3. UCLA
Quotes of the week
"I just don't want to be thought of as a monster."
Help wanted
- Brian Merlos
BY MIKE DOLSEN
Tired of your desk job at the University? Consider the alternatives.
Voices from the back of the house
- Phillip Kurdunowicz
BY MARA GAY
The hope, fear and isolation of the city's immigrant workers
A hitchhiker's guide to I-94
BY DREW PHILP
The inside of Chicago's Greyhound bus station is like Ellis Island. The air is flush with humanity grinding against itself to get somewhere, anywhere. Photographs are taken. Tricolor beads crackle from lush black braids. Eastern European women dangle on their lovers and Midwestern girls chirp on cell phones.
But this story isn't about what I found when I arrived at my Spring Break destination. It's about how I got there.
(I hitchhiked.)
View this week's Statement
- Brian Merlos
Click here to view this week's issue of The Statement as seen in print.
March 12, 2008
Hanging limbs
- Clif Reeder
BY BEENISH AHMED
One thing I don't like about people is how they assume things they have no way of knowing. It's a little like being trapped in the dark and just a little afraid I guess, just so that you're unable to know the perimeter of a room, with shadows shrouding the peripheries of your small frame in a larger one. Uncertainty is scary and to cope with this, you begin to think you know what's where.
Letter from the editor
BY JESSICA VOSGERCHIAN
Ernest Hemingway in a letter to friend Maxwell Perkins in 1928: "This bull market in letters isn't going to last forever and I don't want to always be the one who is supposed to have made large sums and hasn't and doesn't."
A less than inspiring confessional. If this grand poobah of 20th-century literature fretted over the value of his work and the future of the trade, what does it say for aspiring writers almost a century later?
New Thanksgiving
BY ANDREW KLEIN
A break from work or school or anything
is a vacuum of everything I
already know: Holidays move
farther away after the fact or closer still before,
depending; a few minutes or an hour or
a drink or two devoted to everything.
The drive home is about 8 albums or so, a flatline
through Ohio and Pennsylvania.
If cameras still had great flashing bulbs I'd be up early the
next day sweeping glass out the door hoping the cats
didn't already hurt themselves - the new kitten I
Poet's notebook
- Clif Reeder
Auburn Lice
my mom lay in the tub for two hours forcing me
to use the toilet before I go
in my Winnie the Pooh panties
I go, watching her use silver scissors to cut
her dark brown pubic hair into a straight vertical line
she blames her stretch marks on me
I think they're beautiful
making shapes like I do with the clouds
The Nature of News
BY KARL STAMPFL
The newspaper reporter's wife first found the smears of newsprint on his white Oxford shirts during his second year on the job. The blots were in odd places: on his lower back, on the inside of his collar, on the part of his torso hidden by his arm. They weren't the full black spots a pen might have left; rather, they looked like the newsman had taken a small portion of a newspaper - say, a three-deck headline, or a sidebar - and rubbed it into his shirt.
The Day the Flames Came
- Clif Reeder
BY Z.N. LUPETIN
Here I am, standing at the top of a parking garage. I park here all the time. It's convenient. The ticket taker, a small man named Boo, he knows me. I stare out across the rooftops, my pants blowing in the wind. I could fall if I wanted to. It's sad, I think, because I know I won't feel my head cracking open on the concrete. I imagine it would be like a Wonka Gobbstopper splitting open between my teeth - all sorts of chalky colors would crumble out-pinks, oranges, greens, blues. A whole life of TV shows, phone calls, restaurant tip totals and 4 a.m. fantasies would crawl out like ants.
March 5, 2008
The Junk Drawer
- Phillip Kurdunowicz
Talking Points
Three things you can talk about this week:
1. Public genital-patting in Italy
2. White House aides and their plagiarism
3. Symphonic Diplomacy
And three things you can't:
1. Prince Harry's stint in Afghanistan
2. The George W. Bush Presidential library
3. Spring Break tans
Quotes of the Week
"Um, Medved--Medvedova, whatever."
Drinking until you're red in the face
- Clif Reeder
BY ARIKIA MILLIKAN
The science behind "Asian flush" and other alcohol intolerance symptoms
New rules
Rule 86: Saying "I took a class about it" doesn't win debates.
Rule 87: You can't brag about how quick and convenient riding your bike is when the streets and sidewalks are covered in ice.
Rule 88: What happened in Cancun during Spring Break won't stay in Cancun.
The editor's notebook
BY GABE NELSON
Welcome, Putin 2.0
Shortly after being named the winner of an election described as a sham by many American onlookers, Russian president-elect Dmitry Medvedev received a phone call from President Bush yesterday. The Russian media said Bush called to offer Medvedev congratulations, but White House spokeswoman Dana Perino wouldn't describe it as such. What a tease. It seems Medvedev's first major test will be to figure out if Bush likes him or likes him likes him.
Rating: eight out of 10.
About campus
The BTB Cantina question
It's a restaurant. It's a bar. It's - what, exactly?
In a town where your weekend watering hole is a mark of your identity, the opening of a new bar means self-evaluation.
This is especially true for Ann Arbor's most recent personality test, the opening of the much-hyped BTB Cantina last month.
A new education in access
- Phillip Kurdunowicz
BY GARY GRACA
While the University is in the midst of a lawsuit over the wheelchair accessibility of Michigan Stadium, disability services on campus have been generally diligent in addressing the needs of students with disabilities. And while the multi-faceted issue of
April 9, 2008
Talking Points
- Phillip Kurdunowicz
Three things you can talk about this week:
1. The plight of Morgan Tsvangirai
2. Polygamist ranch raids
3. Mark Penn's demise
And three things you can't:
1. Beyonce and Jay-Z tying the knot
2. Two-faced babies
3. Your football seating standing
Quotes of the Week
"I don't see how we could have dispersed the crowd without tear gas."
- Tom Wilbert, the East Lansing police chief, on attempts to quell quell a riot that erupted at a party near Michigan State University's campus early Sunday morning. Police said that 3,000 to 4,000 people were at the party. Fifty-two of them were arrested.
"If it's not Parley, we certainly don't want to move anybody else."
Theme Party Suggestion
- Phillip Kurdunowicz
Tibetan Prep Party - With the Dalai Lama's visit to campus fast approaching, it's time to get prepared - you only have 10 days to become an expert on Tibetan Buddhism. We recommend you get your friends together and research the Dalai Lama on Wikipedia. Educate yourselves on his background, views and awards. Maybe even try to learn some Buddhist rituals. The more you know, the less you'll look like an ignorant Westerner.
Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStatement@umich.edu
By the Numbers
80,000
Number of jobs the U.S. economy lost in March
232,000
Number of jobs the economy lost in the first quarter of this year
5.1%
Current unemployment rate, up from 4.8 percent
Two allegiances, one truth
BY LISA HAIDOSTIAN
In ninth grade, my world studies teacher was delivering a requisite "We are the melting pot of the world" lecture when he said something that jarred me away from my old-school Nokia cell phone game.
"I mean, if there was a war, most immigrants in this country would fight for America's army," he said, or something along those lines.
Not so fast, I thought. It can't be that clear-cut.
A new breed of athletic director
- Brian Merlos
BY ANDY KROLL
The big bucks world of Michigan sports and its big bucks leader.
The editor's notebook
BY GABE NELSON
A look at the big news events this week and how important they really are. Conveniently rated from one to 10.
April 2, 2008
The Editor's Notebook with Gabe Nelson
BY GABE NELSON
A look at the big news events this week and how important they really are. Conveniently rated from one to 10.
New Rules
rule 95: Keeping a cigarette behind your ear makes you look like an asshole.
rule 96: If you haven't seen some of your Facebook friends in person since orientation freshman year, it's time to clean house.
rule 97: Don't ask about your friends' summer plans just so you can hear them say they don't have any.
- E-mail rule submissions to TheStatement@umich.edu
Person of the Week
Jean Nouvel
Jean Nouvel, France's premier shock-architect, won the prestigious Pritzker prize last week for a lifetime of spotting the globe with metallic mind fucks. Sometimes he's on, sometimes he's off. But one thing's certain, if he's able to build the skyscraper he plans for Manhattan, personal jet packs are not too far behind.
An unwanted legacy
BY IAN ROBINSON
As much as some might like to forget about them, the legacy of the Fab Five isn't going away
Junk drawer
- Clif Reeder
Talking points
Three things you can talk about this week:
1. The Fed's new Wall Street regulations
2. True Love Revolution
3. Mugabe's eroding power
And three things you can't:
1. The Olympics
2. Gmail Custom Time
3. Hillary in Bosnia
Life through the lens
- Clif Reeder
Of the thousands of photos taken by The Michigan Daily's photographers this year, some shots fulfill their goal, capturing the truth and telling a story better than any thousand-word article could. This year, photos showed the loss of an Ann Arbor legend, the changing shape of campus and how the stoic faces of Michigan sports heroes cracked with disappointment or elation. From the burgeoning primary season to a concert with a message, these images best captured the moments that left a mark on campus this academic year.
October 17, 2007
Abandoning the bully pulpit
- Angela Cesere
BY GARY GRACA
Mary Sue Coleman has a subtler leadership style than the outspoken presidents of the University's past. But while her absence from social debate means good things for fundraising, it's reshaping the University's role as a force of change outside academia.
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