Tough season? Have fun this Saturday with the Daily's Michigan football drinking game
Andy Reid
Daily Sports EditorOctober 30th, 2008
Has the Michigan football season started to take a toll on you?
Tired of watching the Wolverines implode every week?
Sick of wishing there were some way Terrelle Pryor could still decommit from Ohio State and come to Ann Arbor?
This article is for you, and everyone else inclined to drown their gridiron sorrows.
Here's how the remaining schedule unfolds: three road games and a home contest against Northwestern that will undoubtedly have a sparse student section. So here’s your chance to kick back, relax and maybe enjoy a Michigan game this season.
That’s right, it’s the Michigan football drinking game.
Drink every time the offense loses yards on a play: This rule might get a little out of hand. The offense has been bad enough that, if you follow this rule strictly, you might not remember much past the first half. If you're particularly distraught about this season, maybe you want it that way.
Chug your drink whenever Nick Sheridan is playing quarterback: If the offense is struggling under Steven Threet, remember one thing: when Sheridan enters the game, the Wolverines might as well cut their losses and punt on first down. Which brings me to:
Drink to the 'Z': You might feel a little ridiculous throwing up the 'Z' in your living room when punter Zoltan Mesko trots onto the field to boot one into the lower stratosphere. I have a better idea. Why not just drink instead?
Drink every time the secondary blows a third and long: Michigan State killed the Wolverines last weekend in this situation. Nothing is more disheartening for a defense than holding a team to third and 16 only to watch the secondary allow a receiver to sneak free and move the chains. So before you yell at the television, take some steam off by following this rule.
Drink every time you hear the name Mike Barwis: Chances are, the television announcers are going to be looking for anything good to say about the Wolverines. The media seems to have an unhealthy relationship with Michigan's new strength and conditioning coach, painting him as a god among strength-training boys. If you hear his name, tip your beer, yell "To Barwis!" and take a long sip.
Drink every time the camera shows Rich Rod scowling: Has anyone else noticed that, on the sideline, Rodriguez often resembles a pissed-off grizzly bear? There's no two ways about it — he looks mean. Lloyd Carr was infamous for never smiling during a game, but at least he didn't look like he wanted to punch someone in the throat.
Drink to tradition: The winged helmet. More wins than any other Division I program. The best all-time winning percentage in college football. More conference championships than any other team. The Big House. The greatest rivalry in college football. The Victors. Be proud, Michigan fans. Despite this season, The Wolverines are still one of the greatest college football programs ever. So whenever the announcers bring up anything about the rich tradition of Michigan football, sing a rousing rendition of The Victors with your friends, and finish your drink.
Drink whenever you feel like it: This has been a rough season. A really rough season. Whenever you find yourself sighing, shaking your head or shrugging your shoulders in complete disbelief, go ahead and drink — you probably need it to make it through the fourth quarter.
And finally, drink any time Michigan does something good — touchdown, interception, first down, whatever. You're all still fans, and you should all still back the Wolverines wholeheartedly.
— Reid is actually going to the game this weekend, so he won’t be able to participate. Let him know how it goes at andyreid@umich.edu.
Printed from www.michigandaily.com on Sat, 26 May 2012 21:43:34 -0400