Stories by Kaitlin Williams
Random Student Interview: Let's talk about sex
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
What’s your most embarrassing sex story?
Most embarrassing sex story ... I guess I’d just have to say my girlfriend’s mom walking in on me and her. It was pretty terrible.
Random Student Interview: This interview isn't really 'random'
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where we didn’t have time to draw you any pictures this week and we’re too cold to care if you care.
Let’s talk about Christmas. Spice it up a bit. Oh wait, should I have said “the holidays” or whatever? How do you feel about people saying “Happy Holidays?”
As opposed to “Merry Christmas?”
Yeah.
I mean, I don’t really care. Like, I’m Jewish and I don’t care.
The Statement
The restless: Students living the dream without sleep
- Photo Illustration by Terra Molengraff
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
By the time I started counting how many probes were attached to my head and body, I was too tired to complete the task. I stopped at 28 and tried to settle into a comfortable position in the railed, hospital twin bed. Dawn, my ironically named night shift nurse at the KMS Sleep Center near Briarwood Mall, spoke to me over the intercom.
Random Student Interview: Hitchhiking to Connecticut
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
So what’s the interview about?
Let’s talk about Thanksgiving, because that’s like, topical.
Sure.
Ugh, never mind. That’s boring.
Random Student Interview: Kid Cudi understands me
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
Don’t you feel like you could just be buddies with anyone?
No.
Random Student Interview: Who would win in a fight, Obama or Romney?
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
But, let’s get down to the real issues. Romney or Obama. Who would you sleep with?
Kelly 1: Obama.
And why?
Kelly 1: If he can get Michelle, he can get me.
Random Student Interview: Maybe not literally a minute
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
Welcome to the Random Student Interview. What’s up with the fountain by the Union?
Hey! Got a minute?
Like literally a minute? Because I’m late for my friend’s birthday party.
OK. More like two or three. I’m sorry I lied. Will you forgive me?
OK. Let’s hurry it up though.
Random Student Interview: Why didn't you call me back?
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
Hey! How’ve you been?
(Woman keeps walking)
Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while!
Umm …
Random Student Interview: Stretching, not crushing
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where our hopes and dreams haven’t been crushed by an overwhelming sense of self-doubt … yet.
Have I broken your spirit yet?
Maybe.
Random Student Interview: Is that racist?
- Illustration by Megan Mulholland
BY KAITLIN WILLIAMS
Welcome to the Random Student Interview, were we’re rollin’ dirty and breakin’ the law. Oh, and we swear we’re not racist.
Do you consider yourself a hipster?
No.
